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Parent Emeritus
One Year Later-lots has happened, nothing has changed, at the end of my rope
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<blockquote data-quote="Echolette" data-source="post: 631784" data-attributes="member: 17269"><p>Scott,</p><p></p><p>I hear you loud and clear. The disruption and dysfunction that your son brings to your home is awful, and completely out of your control. There is no way for you to minimize it other than to detach, and your wife's persistence in inviting your son home and enabling him makes that impossible.</p><p></p><p>So I get it.</p><p></p><p>I agree with both of the prior posters...you need a talk with your wife (I'm sure you have done this before, so apologize if this is insultingly obvious). The goals are to figure out if she wants to change and if so what she is willing to commit to getting there, and to communicate your complete done-ness.</p><p></p><p>If she won't change then I have to agree that a trial separation is your only hope of happiness.</p><p></p><p>If she will...well I agree with Child, I was divorced after 23 years of marriage (following 2 years of dating). It. Was. AWful. and it was fairly amicable, and we both make enough money to support ourselves, so the usual divorce warfare was absent. Don't go there if you don't have to. A trial separation if your wife is committed to her path might be the better middle path.</p><p></p><p>I hope you have a therapist, and a group. We are glad to be your group too.</p><p></p><p>Welcome back.</p><p></p><p>Echo</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Echolette, post: 631784, member: 17269"] Scott, I hear you loud and clear. The disruption and dysfunction that your son brings to your home is awful, and completely out of your control. There is no way for you to minimize it other than to detach, and your wife's persistence in inviting your son home and enabling him makes that impossible. So I get it. I agree with both of the prior posters...you need a talk with your wife (I'm sure you have done this before, so apologize if this is insultingly obvious). The goals are to figure out if she wants to change and if so what she is willing to commit to getting there, and to communicate your complete done-ness. If she won't change then I have to agree that a trial separation is your only hope of happiness. If she will...well I agree with Child, I was divorced after 23 years of marriage (following 2 years of dating). It. Was. AWful. and it was fairly amicable, and we both make enough money to support ourselves, so the usual divorce warfare was absent. Don't go there if you don't have to. A trial separation if your wife is committed to her path might be the better middle path. I hope you have a therapist, and a group. We are glad to be your group too. Welcome back. Echo [/QUOTE]
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One Year Later-lots has happened, nothing has changed, at the end of my rope
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