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Parent Emeritus
One Year Later-lots has happened, nothing has changed, at the end of my rope
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 631785" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Scott, I am so sorry. You not only have a son who is an addict but an enabler wife who is in denial. Do you think she'll come on here?</p><p></p><p>I agree that once they hit the 30's it is REALLY inappropriate to keep on saving them. They are heading toward middle age and enough is enough so I agree with you and with your decisions about what you may have to do with your life. If your wife actually got into therapy with somebody who understands addiction, she would be told to do what you are doing, but it doesn't sound like she is ready to let him sink or swim on his own.Maybe sit her down and tell her what you feel and what your boundaries are to save the marriage. At least then you won't look back and feel guilty that you didn't give her a chance to get help for herself if you do leave. If she still enables him, well, you have done all you can in my book. Nothing is left.</p><p></p><p>We will support any decision you make.</p><p></p><p>dstc, I am different from you and I don't know why I am like this..lol. I have far more trouble letting go of my PCs than those adult children I have who are choosing to get into trouble. I was relieved rather than sad when 36 was booted, although I did help him out a little when he lived in hotels by visiting and buying food WHEN I WANTED TO, not when he begged for food. And when Julie was on drugs, I loved her to death, but I was also relieved the two youngest no longer had to deal with her addiction and refusal to get any help. I had a much harder time when easy child autistic son moved out, although he isn't that far, and am going to cry buckets and buckets when Jumper is dropped off at college. They have been nothing but joyous to raise whereas 36 has been meanish and very difficult since Day One and Julie was doing illegal stuff, which I am very against. I'm a law and order person. I found I could detach more easily from those who I found difficult than those who were not.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 631785, member: 1550"] Scott, I am so sorry. You not only have a son who is an addict but an enabler wife who is in denial. Do you think she'll come on here? I agree that once they hit the 30's it is REALLY inappropriate to keep on saving them. They are heading toward middle age and enough is enough so I agree with you and with your decisions about what you may have to do with your life. If your wife actually got into therapy with somebody who understands addiction, she would be told to do what you are doing, but it doesn't sound like she is ready to let him sink or swim on his own.Maybe sit her down and tell her what you feel and what your boundaries are to save the marriage. At least then you won't look back and feel guilty that you didn't give her a chance to get help for herself if you do leave. If she still enables him, well, you have done all you can in my book. Nothing is left. We will support any decision you make. dstc, I am different from you and I don't know why I am like this..lol. I have far more trouble letting go of my PCs than those adult children I have who are choosing to get into trouble. I was relieved rather than sad when 36 was booted, although I did help him out a little when he lived in hotels by visiting and buying food WHEN I WANTED TO, not when he begged for food. And when Julie was on drugs, I loved her to death, but I was also relieved the two youngest no longer had to deal with her addiction and refusal to get any help. I had a much harder time when easy child autistic son moved out, although he isn't that far, and am going to cry buckets and buckets when Jumper is dropped off at college. They have been nothing but joyous to raise whereas 36 has been meanish and very difficult since Day One and Julie was doing illegal stuff, which I am very against. I'm a law and order person. I found I could detach more easily from those who I found difficult than those who were not. [/QUOTE]
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One Year Later-lots has happened, nothing has changed, at the end of my rope
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