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Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
One Year Later-lots has happened, nothing has changed, at the end of my rope
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<blockquote data-quote="Nomad" data-source="post: 631877" data-attributes="member: 4152"><p>I have not read the other replies, my apologies if I am repetitive. I never mention this, but I have a MS in mental health counseling. I know this doesn't make me an expert, but between the degree and PERSONAL experience, I feel confident to tell you that you need marital counseling ASAP...like yesterday. No if, ands or buts. husband and I went and it was a positive experience. We asked around and found an excellent one. We went at the early signs of trouble....disagreeing on everything when it came to parenting our difficult child. We went early on and then had to go again when she became a young adult. AND when she became an adult, the advice was different...much about detaching and moving on with life, as you have mentioned. I can also tell you simply as a human being/mother my decision to detach was probably THE HARDEST thing I ever had to do. Really gut wrenching, twisting and turning, questioning everything I ever believed in, including my faith in God. BUT, it was what I had to do. At some point, I felt I had to do it, or I would die. For me, not only did I need counseling, marital and personal, but I had to tap into my spiritual beliefs to get strength. I also went to a few meetings of Parents Anonymous, which were blow you away F aBULOUS and likely perfect for the two of you. There they deal with drug use /bad decisions and often mental illness combined. Many parents even continue to attend after their child disappears, gets better, dies....they just relish the help and support. Please consider those meetings! I hope you and your wife can resolve these very painful differences. Please keep us posted.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Nomad, post: 631877, member: 4152"] I have not read the other replies, my apologies if I am repetitive. I never mention this, but I have a MS in mental health counseling. I know this doesn't make me an expert, but between the degree and PERSONAL experience, I feel confident to tell you that you need marital counseling ASAP...like yesterday. No if, ands or buts. husband and I went and it was a positive experience. We asked around and found an excellent one. We went at the early signs of trouble....disagreeing on everything when it came to parenting our difficult child. We went early on and then had to go again when she became a young adult. AND when she became an adult, the advice was different...much about detaching and moving on with life, as you have mentioned. I can also tell you simply as a human being/mother my decision to detach was probably THE HARDEST thing I ever had to do. Really gut wrenching, twisting and turning, questioning everything I ever believed in, including my faith in God. BUT, it was what I had to do. At some point, I felt I had to do it, or I would die. For me, not only did I need counseling, marital and personal, but I had to tap into my spiritual beliefs to get strength. I also went to a few meetings of Parents Anonymous, which were blow you away F aBULOUS and likely perfect for the two of you. There they deal with drug use /bad decisions and often mental illness combined. Many parents even continue to attend after their child disappears, gets better, dies....they just relish the help and support. Please consider those meetings! I hope you and your wife can resolve these very painful differences. Please keep us posted. [/QUOTE]
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One Year Later-lots has happened, nothing has changed, at the end of my rope
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