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Oops I Did it Again and a Question
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 723394" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>She so totally sounds like an adult toddler. Maybe she needs a pacifier next time she starts whining?</p><p></p><p>You know she is a liar and a thief, and so are any of her friends. I am willing to bet the $5K loan to this friend never happened. They thought if the friend came to you and said that you owed the money, that you would pay it. You would be afraid they would spread it around that you didn't pay your debts. (Isn't this toddler like thinking? As if their word would mean much to anyone?) So you would pay them the money real fast before you stopped to think about it. Then your daughter and the friend would go and have a good old time with that money. They would have a party and laugh about how stupid you are. But you fooled them. You didn't fall for their trick. You didn't give them the money because it isn't your debt. Duh. </p><p></p><p>The ranting on social media is a toddler temper tantrum. Just block them both and don't respond. You are so much better than that! Reward yourself for not falling for their trick, and for not getting into a mess with them on facebook or whatever they are using to contact you. Trust us, your life will be SOOOO much better without all the conflama of the instant contact of social media with your daughter and her friends. What is conflama? Conflict + drama = conflama. Most of it is something you can ignore because it does not add anything positive to your life. It just does not solve anything. </p><p></p><p>How is it that your daughter cannot even work a paid position but she can criticize you for whatever you want to do with your life? Where were you in life and what were you doing at age 24? I was married and had a 2 year old and a house. I was in college. Why isn't your daughter supporting herself and actually working? Why is she pestering you at the age of 24? Who does she think she is to tell you what to do with your life? She hasn't worked a day in her life, has she? She hasn't raised a child, or taken care of other people's most precious loved one for the entire day every day. She has not cooked and cleaned for an entire family. </p><p></p><p>It is time to cut her access to you off. Don't wait until you move. Just stop paying any attention to her. She is old enough to try to run your life isn't she? Then she is old enough to run hers without your input. Block her on facebook and block all of her friends. Or put them on that limited status that lets you control what they see. Do not read her texts or answer her calls. Do not answer calls from friends of hers. If they call and say she is in the hospital, have the friend tell the hospital to call you directly. Otherwise it is a scam. Trust me, difficult kids WILL go that far. If you answer the phone and it is your daughter, hang up if she asks for something or if she is rude or in any way unpleasant to you. If you feel pressured, hang up. That phone is a doorway into your life and your head. You do NOT have to open it to someone if you do not want to. That is not being rude, that is being smart. If it is truly an emergency, a nurse or a police officer will leave a message and a callback number. </p><p></p><p>If your daughter comes to your home, don't let her in. If she forces her way in and will not leave, call 911. I am NOT joking. At the least she is trespassing. You don't have to press charges, but do have them make her leave. Not leaving when you tell her to is abusive and breaking the law. Especially given the fact that she only comes over to steal from you. Keep your doors locked. </p><p></p><p>Why am I encouraging you to take a break from her before you move? I think it will show you that she is fully capable of handling her life and of figuring things out without you. Sure she will flounder around a bit, and it will be a struggle. She might even get arrested if she keeps up the stealing. It will be a big wakeup call for her, maybe. If not, you will know that at least she is having the opportunity to learn from her mistakes. Let her deal with any problems on her own. If you do take a call from her and she starts telling you about her problems, tell her that you are sure she will figure out how to handle it, that you have faith that she can come up with a solution. Put it back in her lap, with a message that you have faith in her ability to handle it. She won't like it, and may blow up at you. But she needs to hear it. Whatever you do, don't ever solve her problems for her again, if you can help it. </p><p></p><p>Then by the time you move, it will be a whole lot easier to cut ties with her. You will already be sure she can handle herself. It will make it a lot more pleasant to be in your new home without her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 723394, member: 1233"] She so totally sounds like an adult toddler. Maybe she needs a pacifier next time she starts whining? You know she is a liar and a thief, and so are any of her friends. I am willing to bet the $5K loan to this friend never happened. They thought if the friend came to you and said that you owed the money, that you would pay it. You would be afraid they would spread it around that you didn't pay your debts. (Isn't this toddler like thinking? As if their word would mean much to anyone?) So you would pay them the money real fast before you stopped to think about it. Then your daughter and the friend would go and have a good old time with that money. They would have a party and laugh about how stupid you are. But you fooled them. You didn't fall for their trick. You didn't give them the money because it isn't your debt. Duh. The ranting on social media is a toddler temper tantrum. Just block them both and don't respond. You are so much better than that! Reward yourself for not falling for their trick, and for not getting into a mess with them on facebook or whatever they are using to contact you. Trust us, your life will be SOOOO much better without all the conflama of the instant contact of social media with your daughter and her friends. What is conflama? Conflict + drama = conflama. Most of it is something you can ignore because it does not add anything positive to your life. It just does not solve anything. How is it that your daughter cannot even work a paid position but she can criticize you for whatever you want to do with your life? Where were you in life and what were you doing at age 24? I was married and had a 2 year old and a house. I was in college. Why isn't your daughter supporting herself and actually working? Why is she pestering you at the age of 24? Who does she think she is to tell you what to do with your life? She hasn't worked a day in her life, has she? She hasn't raised a child, or taken care of other people's most precious loved one for the entire day every day. She has not cooked and cleaned for an entire family. It is time to cut her access to you off. Don't wait until you move. Just stop paying any attention to her. She is old enough to try to run your life isn't she? Then she is old enough to run hers without your input. Block her on facebook and block all of her friends. Or put them on that limited status that lets you control what they see. Do not read her texts or answer her calls. Do not answer calls from friends of hers. If they call and say she is in the hospital, have the friend tell the hospital to call you directly. Otherwise it is a scam. Trust me, difficult kids WILL go that far. If you answer the phone and it is your daughter, hang up if she asks for something or if she is rude or in any way unpleasant to you. If you feel pressured, hang up. That phone is a doorway into your life and your head. You do NOT have to open it to someone if you do not want to. That is not being rude, that is being smart. If it is truly an emergency, a nurse or a police officer will leave a message and a callback number. If your daughter comes to your home, don't let her in. If she forces her way in and will not leave, call 911. I am NOT joking. At the least she is trespassing. You don't have to press charges, but do have them make her leave. Not leaving when you tell her to is abusive and breaking the law. Especially given the fact that she only comes over to steal from you. Keep your doors locked. Why am I encouraging you to take a break from her before you move? I think it will show you that she is fully capable of handling her life and of figuring things out without you. Sure she will flounder around a bit, and it will be a struggle. She might even get arrested if she keeps up the stealing. It will be a big wakeup call for her, maybe. If not, you will know that at least she is having the opportunity to learn from her mistakes. Let her deal with any problems on her own. If you do take a call from her and she starts telling you about her problems, tell her that you are sure she will figure out how to handle it, that you have faith that she can come up with a solution. Put it back in her lap, with a message that you have faith in her ability to handle it. She won't like it, and may blow up at you. But she needs to hear it. Whatever you do, don't ever solve her problems for her again, if you can help it. Then by the time you move, it will be a whole lot easier to cut ties with her. You will already be sure she can handle herself. It will make it a lot more pleasant to be in your new home without her. [/QUOTE]
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