Opinions needed on easy child

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by flutterbee, Jul 22, 2008.

  1. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    easy child...well, easy child/PITA to be more accurate.

    I'm so angry/annoyed/frustrated with him right now.

    He's been late coming home from his girlfriend's a few times. One time I had to track him down. He fell asleep at his girlfriend's house last week (or the week before...can't remember) and I had to call and wake up girlfriend's mom because girlfriend was asleep, too, and wasn't answering her cell. He was 20 minutes late last night. Then had the nerve to tell me that he didn't know he was supposed to be home at midnight. (!!!) HELLO??? He ALWAYS has to be home by midnight. I don't know why he thought last night was an exception. Actually, he knew it wasn't. Just thought he'd get away with it.

    He went to Circuit City this afternoon. It is now 6pm and he is supposed to be at work right now. He isn't home yet. Called his friend's cell 10 minutes ago and they were still a good 10-15 minutes away and he has to come home and change first.

    So....do I take his keys away from his new car already? Cause this is really getting old. If he loses his job, he can't pay for the insurance on the car or gas or anything else.

    by the way, he had diversion through Juvenile Court for being late to school so much. He had to do 30 hours of community service and pay an $80 court fee. We just got the letter yesterday that he completed the program and his "unofficial record" is sealed. He obviously learned nothing. And getting him to schedule the community service was like pulling teeth. Nevermind that if he didn't complete the community service he would have had to go before the judge and the 'unofficial record' would have become official. I had to make everything in his life stop to get him to schedule it.

    I really don't like teenagers right now.
  2. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    He just got home and changed. I told him, "You go to work and then you come straight home." He said, "What?!!!" I repeated it. He asked, "Why are you so mad at me?" :hammer: "Because you're late." He said - very sarcastically, "I'm sorry!"

  3. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    I'd take the keys. Wouldn't even think about that.

    Who bought the car? (ok, so I'm thinking about it)
  4. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    His dad. That's another story. His dad jerked him around for a year about getting him a car and easy child complained to me about it ALL. THE. TIME. Then when his dad finally gave the go-ahead and a dollar amount, easy child sat on his thumbs. If I hadn't forced him by telling him that he had 30 days to find a car or he was going to lose the opportunity and he would lose driving privileges to mine, he still wouldn't have one.

    I was sick of dealing with it. I was sick of not having my car. His dad was getting frustrated because he expected him to have one a couple weeks ago (granted, his dad wasn't making it easy, but still....).

    And as he's coming home, already late for work, he stopped to drop his friends off at another's house. Just so they can come back later via a ride from another friend.
  5. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Nip it now if you can. I see this as major disrespect and you don't deserve that.

  6. MyFriendKita

    MyFriendKita Member

    I would let him deal with it. If he gets fired, it's on him. If he then can't pay his gas/insurance, park the car. And I wouldn't let him drive yours if that happens.

    I would take away the keys for a day or two for breaking curfew, though.
  7. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Nip the disrespect immediately, and let natural consequences fall where they may as far as his tardiness at work goes. He can't drive if he doesn't have insurance. And as for curfew, I think losing the keys one day for each violation is appropriate. Let him figure out how he's going to get to work. But be sure you spell out the specifics of the consequences so there's no way he can get upset over not understanding. Have him write it down on a piece of paper himself and post it on the fridge where he'll see it.
  8. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    I second the opinions of the others.

    If he continues to be tardy (and past behaviour suggests strongly that he will), then he loses his car keys. I certainly think he should lose them for his current show of disrespect toward you.

    If easy child ends up losing his job because he lost his car, then be it on his head. Natural consequences for not fulfilling his responsibilities.

    This is a very important life lesson. Better he learn it now while he's still young and safe living at home.

    {{{Hugs}}} Heather.

  9. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Let me see if I have this straight -- You told him to come straight home after work and instead he dropped off some other kids? He'd be losing car privileges so fast his head would be swimming. If he were living here, he'd be lucky if he could even get a ride to/from work let alone be driving a car and it would be a heck of a lot longer than just one day.

    He is flat out not only disrespecting you but directly disobeying you. Hope you find a way to get the message across that this behavior is not acceptable.
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with the others. Lose keys for curfew violations and if he loses his job and can't pay insurance than he ends up losing his car. by the way, I understand the not liking teenager thing right now!
  11. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Yup. He needs to learn.
  12. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    I really don't like teenagers right now.

  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    I agree, if he's late for work, the consequences are totally his. If he can't afford gas and ins., oh well. He can't drive.
    He's got to immediately look for another job if this one bites the dust.

    Good luck. Be strong.
  14. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    MB - He did come straight home from work. He stopped to drop his friends off before he went to work to which he was already late. Just so another friend could bring them back here about 45 minutes later.

    I talked to him when he got home. Asked him if he wanted to be a bagger at Kroger all his life. Told him that I was not tracking him down anymore and that if he is late coming home at night or late to work again, he was losing his keys for a week each time. Period.

    When he's late for curfew, I know he's just being late, but that doesn't stop me from worrying that he's been in an accident or the car broke down or what have you. In addition, it's city curfew not just mine. If he were to get pulled over, he'd get ticketed if they didn't take him in. Plus, I don't take my night time medications until he gets home in case something happens and he needs me.
  15. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Sending hugs, Heather. I agree with the others. Take the keys. I've done it to Miss KT, and it's very effective!
  16. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?


    Good plan, now just stay strong and stick to it.