I'm supposed to drop off money (more than I can really afford- but I can come up with it) and Iep to an attny tomorrow if I want him to go to the IEP meeting on Fri. I have a ed spec. from the MDE team (also works at the day treatment program) who will be attending the iep meeting- his position is that difficult child is not necessarily ready for day treatment (the school would have to refer him in order for him to be accepted) and he believes the sd should be doing their part, so he wants to pursue iep again. Ok, but, there are some details he isn't aware of. On top of that, the probation officer wants to go to this meeting and she may or may not have the time available to actually attend. Her position is more of "should difficult child be in the system"- as in detention or other. The sd has been more this way- not complying with IDEAA or IEP; has difficult child arrested; but will change his grades to make it look like everything is fine- they do stand by the fact that he has shown great improvement with behavior this year, so they are more like "let's change him to the 504". Well, maybe it depends on how you define "behavior effects learning". difficult child has shown outstanding improvement on number of violations of code of conduct. However, his grades have plummeted and are nowhere close to reflecting his ability. The sd would say this is due to his bad choices regarding classwork and homework. I, on the other hand, deal with the meltdowns, raging, and depression at home. The psychiatrist does not feel difficult child should be in the psychiatric hospital (acute is our only option)- most don't since he doesn't meet their definition of "acute"- but psychiatrist, of course, says if I feel he does need to be in psychiatric hospital, then take him. (Like I can) Tdocs are useless, but we're court ordered so we have to go. Ok, well, the walls in the house have holes punched (huge ones) all over the place. The worst part- difficult child has been taking knives or scissors or both and stabbing areas in the walls during the night. This has happened more than once. He has walked around on the roof. He was put on the monitor by PO because I called police for him "disappearing" last week for 2 1/2 hours. Other than the disappearing, I have no proof of all this unless I take photos and show them to psychiatrist or whoever. I will say that zyrtec for alergies seems to have made things worse until I switched to another allergy medication. I want help for my son. I want him to live at home and I think he is treatable but I don't think these things should be overlooked- that isn't treatment and it won't help him. If I take photos, who should I show them to? Will psychiatrist back up the idea of day treatment? Would it be a good idea to show them to the ed spec from day treatment? I feel like just taking them to the sd and saying "oh, YOU don't think there is a problem?" But, I don't want difficult child locked up for five years- institution, detention, or otherwise. I'm sure sd and PO would realize there is a problem, but then, you know, this is where we find the "great hole" in our society between not addressing mental health problems and treating them by locking them up in detention or "sending them away for years". There is a guardian ad litem on board too but she will flip out as well and difficult child wouldd be gone. I guess I wonder if psychiatrists (child and adolescent certified) really understand when we say the difficult child is raging. Can they handle the truth and reality without flipping out? Will they pursue real help or will they give up too? SD would want him out for sure- but would they back up him getting help and then returning to school? Even this attny- he has dealt mostly with adhd and has never dealt with mood disorders- he would probably flip out too. Thoughts??