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<blockquote data-quote="mattsmom27" data-source="post: 41932" data-attributes="member: 50"><p>I definitly am a believer in the interactions you do or don't see as a child helping form the adult you become, especially in relationships. The older I became as a child, the less love there was. It came to a point that probably from age 8 to when I started having boyfriends in my teen years I literally never once heard "I love you" and never once had a hug. Not a single one. I really struggled for a lot of my adult years. I wanted to hear "I love you" but when I did I didn't believe the words to be true. It took a long time for me to use those words with adults. Physical affection like hugging was also a huge struggle for me. I craved human contact but cringed from it at the same time. Until I had difficult child when I was 18. I have never struggled with saying I love you or hugging etc with my kids. I knew the day I learned I was pregnant that my child was going to know and feel and experience love to it's fullest. It was adult relationships that were a struggle for me. It was only when I realized I was truly deserving and worthy of love and affection myself that I could accept it and share it in adult relationships (partners, family, friends). </p><p>I get so sad when I hear of men going through similar situations because I truly believe that many men struggle much harder than women to deal with issues like this. And inside they pick loving women because they want love so bad, but they can't always find a way to be an active participant in it. I hope that your husband finds his way to the truth of himself one day. It isn't easy. Not that it makes it any easier for you personally to live without what you want and need. Just a perspective from me really. </p><p></p><p>Melissa</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mattsmom27, post: 41932, member: 50"] I definitly am a believer in the interactions you do or don't see as a child helping form the adult you become, especially in relationships. The older I became as a child, the less love there was. It came to a point that probably from age 8 to when I started having boyfriends in my teen years I literally never once heard "I love you" and never once had a hug. Not a single one. I really struggled for a lot of my adult years. I wanted to hear "I love you" but when I did I didn't believe the words to be true. It took a long time for me to use those words with adults. Physical affection like hugging was also a huge struggle for me. I craved human contact but cringed from it at the same time. Until I had difficult child when I was 18. I have never struggled with saying I love you or hugging etc with my kids. I knew the day I learned I was pregnant that my child was going to know and feel and experience love to it's fullest. It was adult relationships that were a struggle for me. It was only when I realized I was truly deserving and worthy of love and affection myself that I could accept it and share it in adult relationships (partners, family, friends). I get so sad when I hear of men going through similar situations because I truly believe that many men struggle much harder than women to deal with issues like this. And inside they pick loving women because they want love so bad, but they can't always find a way to be an active participant in it. I hope that your husband finds his way to the truth of himself one day. It isn't easy. Not that it makes it any easier for you personally to live without what you want and need. Just a perspective from me really. Melissa [/QUOTE]
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