Ossy stopped by tonight.

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by dashcat, Apr 16, 2013.

  1. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    He has been diagnosed with prostrate cancer.

    It's true that I've been mighty ticked at him - especially recently - but I spent nearly 30 years with this man. I feel terrible for him.

    He did say the prognosis is good. Iguess if you're going to get prostrate cancer, this is the kind you want. Still.

    He has not decided when or IF to tell difficult child. I do understand where he's coming from ... to a point. He said the minute he tells her it will become all about her. He also knows that she'll blab to anyone/everyone and he really doesn't want the word out. I get that, too. Still, and this is the great abyss that separates Ossy and me in our thinking ... I think it's better to be uncomfortable for a short time than risk the consequences that can result from secrecy. What if something happensin surgery?

    It's out of my hands ...all of it. I hope and pray that he will be ok.

  2. PatriotsGirl

    PatriotsGirl Well-Known Member

    I will pray for him, too. I wanted to let you know that my father in law, who has been in poor health for a long time, was diagnosed with prostate cancer. He had surgery and it is gone - no problems, no chemo, nothing. Yes, it is one of the most treatable cancers to have!
  3. Calamity Jane

    Calamity Jane Well-Known Member

    That's a shock. It is very treatable these days, and it's also very common. But still, no one wants to hear those words.
  4. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh dash I'm sorry. I understand the conflicted feelings you have. 30 years is a long time and he has been a lot more supportive with difficult child than a lot of divorced dads even if he does bury his head in the sand at times. When is the surgery?
  5. dashcat

    dashcat Member

    Thanks, everyone, for the support. It is good to hear the affirmations about the treatability (is that a word?) of this kind of cancer. The surgery is May 10, Nancy. It is outpatient and from what I understand, the success rate is very high. Still, I know he's scared. He started crying when he told me ... which, of course, made me cry.
  6. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I would cry too dash.
  7. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It's scary Dash, but very, very good prognosis...........it's that darned C word that spooks everyone............I'm sorry, you sure have your hands full lately...................I would cry too..........gentle, caring hugs for you.........
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im so sorry too. This seems to be going around. I have heard of quite a lot of people getting this lately. I hope things go amazingly smoothly and he is just fine in no time.
  9. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Sweetie, my Grandpa and father in law, and a friend (J) have all had prostate cancer. Surgery for Grandpa 20+ years ago, radiation seeds for father in law and J - and all of them have beaten it.

    In the meantime, support is available - Info, financial/insurance, emotional - through the American Cancer Society - 1-800-227-2345 or www.cancer.org.
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

  11. JKF

    JKF Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry dash! Sending you lots of hugs!!!
  12. Thoughts and hugs coming from this neck of the woods too. Thankfully it is a good prognosis and highly beatable cancer. My Uncle-in-law has beaten it as well as a friend that we know. No ill effects and no need for radiation or chemotherapy for either of them. That said it is still scary and I can understand the fear and emotion behind the conversation you had with each other.

    I don't blame him for not wanting to tell difficult child. It is a tricky situation. If I was otherwise healthy and in his situation I might be tempted to keep it secret, especially if he doesn't want the whole town to know. And he's right. She will likely turn it around and make it all about her, especially now that she has been asked to move out of your home.
  13. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    I'm glad you were there for him, Dash. That must have made such a wonderful difference for him.

    As Recovering said, that ca diagnosis is so scary that it stops us in our tracks. We have a friend who was diagnosed with it many years ago. He caught it early, had the surgery, maintained potency and continence, and is just fine, today.

  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    These are the times when those with a history of "head in the sand" behaviors have to face reality. It is so sad that he likely will not reach out to others for support but I do believe it is his decision. You are placed "in the middle" but still I believe it is his decision alone. I'm sorry and will send supportive thoughts and caring for you both. DDD
  15. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I hope he has a good outcome. You are a good friend.
  16. HaoZi

    HaoZi CD Hall of Fame

    *HUGS* hon. I'm glad you're able enough to be there for him.