Other kids triggering my daughter's fits of rage! Some intentional and some unintentional

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Megs87, Nov 5, 2017.

  1. Megs87

    Megs87 New Member

    Here I am again, lost, feeling helpless, and alone. I have posted several times now about my daughter but incase you have not read ill explain it all again. My 7year old daughter has impulse problems, anger/anxiety, lack of empathy for others, and is very social but utterly sucks at it. Her impulse control and fits of rage will at times understandably run friends or potential friends away. Or the parents will understandably be reluctant to allow their kids to play with her. That's ok, because if the parents are not used to a child like her, or have some sort of knowledge about it all, i would kind of rather them and their kids stay away. I hope that doesn't sound to harsh on the parent or their kid. I am so stressed out and sick of kids messing with my girl to get a rise out of her because they think its funny to see a child react in such an extreme way. But you know what gets me the most? They don't find it very funny when her, "lack of empathy" and, "impulse control" emerge. They love to trigger it but not get it up upclose first hand. I am sick of un understanding moms or dads, (mostly moms) confronting me about what my child did to theirs!! then i hear how their child was being an A**Hole to mine. (Laughing at her for something she did or got in trouble for the day before ) or they'll tell other kids who are playing with her, not to play with her because she is mean, weird, stupid and much more. So then my child will immediately get upset and deny it which makes the other kids come at her harder. It almost always turns into the kid whos saying all those things running home crying because she threw something, got physical, said something mean or hateful and now whos feelings are hurt. My girl can take 20 steps forward and having a great day and all it takes is 1 kid bullying her and her reaction is so extreme, i now have a pissed off parent on the phone or at my door. I hate confrontation. It will litteraly make me ill. I want to buy a shirt that says, "i am not responsible for anything my autistic child does when provoked by your kid who knows better" when i say knows better i am not meaning a child that has never been around it, i am meaning the kids who are very much aware of her issues and still find it funny to push her buttons and then send their uninformed parent here threatening me. What do i do??? What do i say? I had a mom today tell me that my talks and couseling obviously isnt working. Shes sick of my child not having any consequences and that what she needs is a good ole fashioned ass whooping??? Really??? Lets beat the child for being physical with your child that wouldn't leave her alone and telling her she watches bad videos and he was going to tell everyone she does. The "bad video" was a music video that had people dancing. Yes i got on to her for listening to trashy music along with trashy video but its far from porn. At least that video was. Thanks for reading. Again, I'm very opened minded and want all opinions i can get. Unless it involves whooping her. She is not a candidate for spankings.
     
  2. I'm sorry you have such a heavy load to bear. My niece's son has Autism and has great success with medications. Of course, the success came because of lots of trials with different medications to see which ones were the best for him. He also participates in every type of group and therapy that is offered in the area. My niece has many behavior incentives for him and is very consistent. I think her high expectations for him has really helped. Good Luck
     
  3. HMBgal

    HMBgal Active Member

    Yep. My 11 year old grandson has a giant "mess with me even a little tiny bit and watch me melt down. It's fun; try it" sticker on his back. And has since he first started interacting with other kids. The school is working very hard on this. Yeah, and the judgy moms. Karma. Karma happens even to "perfect" people. Because no one is perfect. I've go a bit of a chip on my shoulder about this issue. And the kids are so sneaky about it. They're smart enough not to get caught. And who is creating the drama and drawing all the attention while the other, mean kids slink away? Yeah, our kids.
     
  4. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I have an autistic son. Kids are mean, but adults are too, if you are different. Is your daughter getting interventions in the school and community to improve her behavior and social skills? Autistic kids NEED interventions desperately, teaching them how to behave in our world. Yes, its mean to bait. But the one who hits will be the one to get into trouble, as kids and adults. We cant change the world. We have to help our kids. Our kid is the only kid we can have any control over

    Our autistic kids can learn how to interact better. I would not leave your daughter alone outside for now. Another kid could goad her so badly, she could really hurt somebody else and your daughter will face the consequences. And you. No matter why, hitting/hurting is never okay. My son had to learn this. He did.

    You cant control other parents or kids or society, but you can make sure your daughter has top notch autistic interventions so she can learn how to best deal with our world and tje people in it We did this with our son. It was very successful. I recommend social skills training, physical therapy, occupational therapy, an aide at school to keep an eye on things and consequences for physical violence. I dont spank, never have. You can use anything that is more appropriate than "whopping" (rolling eyes).

    I hope this helped and am cheering for you and your daughter.
     
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