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Family of Origin
Other people who are shunned and how it makes me feel
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 677329" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This is what my sister did to my mother a few years before my mother died. My sister had cut off my mother after the fiasco when she hospitalized my mother against her will.</p><p></p><p>When my mother got mad, my sister blamed her. During the interval of no contact my sister got breast cancer. She wrote to my mother telling her that my mother and I were toxic to her, inferring we caused her cancer, saying she did not ever want anything to do with us.</p><p></p><p>Subsequently my sister changed her mind, apparently, because there was more she could extract from my mother. Then in the last year, my sister cut my mother and I off for good.</p><p> I think they are essentially weak people that need to interpret things in self-serving ways so that they feel strong and look at what they do as strength rather than the weakness it really is. It is not only they want to feel better than others, they want to feel better than the reality of what they are. As well as better than others.</p><p> People do this who were not necessarily mistreated by family. They do this for reasons that are self-serving, as did my sister.</p><p></p><p>Shunning is the weapon of weak people who do not feel strong enough to be in real relationship they cannot control or then shun to feel they can define other people in order to feel big.</p><p></p><p>My sister does want to see herself as powerful and dominating, when she is really a nutcase. That is all I have to say about her.</p><p></p><p>I have been thinking a lot about all of this lately, how people in my family of origin were so ambitious when they (including me) were really, are essentially limited and fragile people. I think that was what really drove us: our limitation rather than any strength. Thank you.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 677329, member: 18958"] This is what my sister did to my mother a few years before my mother died. My sister had cut off my mother after the fiasco when she hospitalized my mother against her will. When my mother got mad, my sister blamed her. During the interval of no contact my sister got breast cancer. She wrote to my mother telling her that my mother and I were toxic to her, inferring we caused her cancer, saying she did not ever want anything to do with us. Subsequently my sister changed her mind, apparently, because there was more she could extract from my mother. Then in the last year, my sister cut my mother and I off for good. I think they are essentially weak people that need to interpret things in self-serving ways so that they feel strong and look at what they do as strength rather than the weakness it really is. It is not only they want to feel better than others, they want to feel better than the reality of what they are. As well as better than others. People do this who were not necessarily mistreated by family. They do this for reasons that are self-serving, as did my sister. Shunning is the weapon of weak people who do not feel strong enough to be in real relationship they cannot control or then shun to feel they can define other people in order to feel big. My sister does want to see herself as powerful and dominating, when she is really a nutcase. That is all I have to say about her. I have been thinking a lot about all of this lately, how people in my family of origin were so ambitious when they (including me) were really, are essentially limited and fragile people. I think that was what really drove us: our limitation rather than any strength. Thank you. COPA [/QUOTE]
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