Other things I've noticed

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Needsupport, Aug 14, 2008.

  1. Needsupport

    Needsupport New Member

    My son has been caught playing with-matches, (3 times total in one month. Never before.) even after talking to him & showing him photos on the internet of people & homes that have been burnt.

    He steals food from the cabinets & hides it in his room. I'm always finding empty pop cans in his drawers, empyt cracker boxes, chip bags. On more than one occassion I've found empty 1/2 gallon ice cream boxes under his bed. I can't seem to break him of this no matter what I do. I try to limit the amount of snacky food I buy because of this.

    He notices woman. He cut out pictures of naked woman at daycare (nothing showed but you could tell they were naked, like in the lotion adds). When asked why he said that he likes to look at naked woman.

    I've had to lock out channels on the TV because he was caught watching Girls Gone Wild.

    He doesn't get sexually explicit or anything, but again, I know that some of these are signs of bi-polar so am keeping a watch on it. The dr did mention that if the child is bi-polar the stimulants used to treat ADHD could aggrevate the bi-polar symptoms.

    I just feel like screaming! I want easy answers & fast solutions & with what we're dealing with those just aren't available! Some days I just don't feel that I can do it anymore. But I try to remind myself that if it's this hard for me it has to be even harder for my son...
  2. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    difficult child 1 to the T.

    Lit his brother's bed on fire just to see "what would happen". Before that was ALWAYS playing with fire if he got ahold of matches. Would burn oil, gasoline, paint cans - ANYTHING if he got ahold of it.

    Still hoardes food, even in the Marines.

    Kept a folder of women he cut out of magazines.

    Had to take power and or cable cords from electronics to keep him out of stuff.
  3. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Sounds familiar!!!
    I completely changed what we buy at the grocery store. We'll allow one junk item, and after he gorges himself on it (aka the entire pkg, designed for a famiily of 5) then there is none left. No yelling, just gone.

    My son had a folder, too. They were very atractive women. At least he has good taste! Unfortunately, he moved on to other things, but I think we've got a handle on it.
    It's normal to have sexual feelings. Not sure about age 7, but it's so hard to tell these days because you can't get away from it on TV or the Internet.
    I am not above turning off the power just to get the darn stuff away from him and us. :) I have told difficult child that it must be a power outage in the neighborhood.

    Unfortunately, he's old enough now to check the circuit breaker box. The trick was nice while it lasted.

    The main thing is that you are the mom and if his TV is limited to certain shows, he broke the rules. Nothing to do with-sex. Just basic rules.

    Best of luck!
  4. Calgon_Take_Me_Away

    Calgon_Take_Me_Away New Member

    lol ~ some of it fits us too ~ difficult child eats tubs of icing and we find them in his room, candy, cookies, any junk items. His birthday is tomorrow and guess what ... he'll have cake with-o icing!

    difficult child tried lighting leaves on fire (lighter), did light toilet paper on fire in his room (matches). After we told him we would lose everything, he replied, "we'd still have the pool" .... uhhhh, no, the pool would melt.

    I told him if he's hungry before bed to eat a healthy snack or make a pb sandwich. I've also stopped buying icing and as far as I know, it's all gone.
  5. Needsupport

    Needsupport New Member

    You guys, please don't take this the wrong way, but I LOVE YOU!!!! I'M NOT ALONE!!!! This feels sooooo good to know that other people understand what I'm going through & are going through it, too!!!! Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Stimulants are definitely not for all kids. Frankly, I hear more "they made him worse" than "they help" maybe because parents who come here have very extreme kids who often are diagnosed wrong--so the stimulants just make them worse. Firesetting can be a symptom of bipolar OR a symptom of autistic spectrum disorder because some Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) kids are fascinated by fire (my son went through this stage and he is not bipolar). And, yes, stimulants can make kids even more impulsive and hyper, even psychotic. in my opinion they throw stims at kids way too fast without considering that the kids may not have ADHD and that stimulants are, um, speed...duh. That can cause even more raging as the poor kids cycling up and down with the speed. I know how it can feel since I took Ritalin. Can we say up, up, up and boom...depression. I can't speak for anyone but me, but they made me 10X worse and soooooo depressed once I crashed. Make sure he really has ADHD!
  7. Calgon_Take_Me_Away

    Calgon_Take_Me_Away New Member

    Firestarting is also part of Conduct Disorder (aka the next step of ODD).
  8. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Not to be argumentative, but ODD rarely stands alone (check Dr. chandler's Chandler Papers) and CD is usually caused by untreated mental illness. I would be leery of an ODD diagnosis. They really aren't helpful...and usually can be traced to an underlying problem causing them. So, even though some may disagree, I'm going to stand by what I said. Lord knows, between myself, my son, and my daughter who used to do drugs...I've had a lot of experience :) I'm sure I could have met ODD standards as a kid. If my mom said, "Clean your room" I'd cross my arms and say, "Make me." And the more she pushed it, the more I'd resist. And if she REALLY didn't back down I'd lose control and rage with the best of them.
    But the real problem was a simmering mood disorder. Once that was treated the urge to be contrary pretty much disappeared. I suggest looking into other things before accepting ODD or CD (CD is especially "iffy" in a child under 18). JMO
  9. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Every prof (psychiatrist, psychiatric, therapist) we have seen (and there have been over 8 at this point) have indicated to me that ODD and CD are diagnosis's that indicate symptommatic behavior, not the primary diagnosis. Of course, the primary diagnosis could be many different things. I think MWM was just pointing out that firesetting is a real big red flag for BiPolar (BP) and/or Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), I don't think her statement was intended to imply that these are the ONLY kids who play with fire.
  10. Calgon_Take_Me_Away

    Calgon_Take_Me_Away New Member

    I was just adding CD to the BiPolar (BP) & Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) as possibilities.

    In all the research I've read, a lot of childhood/adolescent disorders overlap a lot and there's only a few items that differ (either based on symptoms or severity) between those diagnosis. I agree that most disorders co-exist with other disorders ~ I wasn't arguing. Just adding CD as a possibility.

    Also according to the DSM IV, there are 2 types of CD which depend on the age of onset (before 10 and over 10) ~ there are also 3 stages of severity from mild to severe.