Our trip to the store.

[Shari]

So, I did something I rarely do last night.
***
After difficult child's art show and pot luck at school, we took him to Bass Pro. They had an canopy on sale that we have been wanting to get for some time, and it was over 1/3 off. Sale ends today and we can't go tonight.
***
So we took difficult child to Bass Pro. He armed himself with all his money, which totaled $4 and will barely buy a drink in that store.
***
He went immediately to the toys and began the "I want" dance. (So how sad is it that my kid doesn't know where toys are in Walmart, only recently began to recognize a Walmart, but he knows exactly where the toys are in Bass Pro...? I digress.)
***
He begged. He pleaded. He cried and sometimes screamed, sometimes loudly. He bargained with the sales people, begging them to reduce the prices. It lasted however long we were in the store, 30-40 minutes, I guess. I chased difficult child while husband found our canopy, which took some time as they only had one left and they had to "find" it. We paid for our canopy with a crying difficult child in tow, and left.
***
And I was smiling ear to ear. BECAUSE...There were no on-the-floor-tantrums. There was no hitting. There was no spitting. There was no kicking. There wasn't even name calling. He did not run from me in the store or throw items on the floor, or destroy any displays!
***
In another, what, 6 years, I might be able to browse the clothing racks while he's in the store with me. Awesome!

 

[Andy]

And only other difficult child parents can truley understand why that was a victory night.

Sounds like difficult child did the best he could after a long long day - he must have been very tired - and you too.

Congratulations!!!

 

[TerryJ2]

Way To Go!
I think it's hysterical that he actually bargained with-the salespeople. My difficult child has never done that. Wow. I would be tempted to laugh out loud if my difficult child did that.
One of the things our child psychiatric recommended was making fake trips to the store (mostly, the grocery store, because that's where we shop the most) and the instant difficult child acted up, we were to leave with-o purchasing anything. (That's why they were fake trips ... I saved the real trips for another time.)
You may want to try a few more trips to Bass Pro, Target, and where ever else he's prone to melt down, just to get him used to the idea that "No" means "No."
I love the $4 in his own money. Kids don't "get" how much things really cost.

 

[Christy]

How true this is! Way to see the positive. And most importantly you got it done! My husband is always one to say, "let's just get out of here," when difficult child acts up in a store. No way. Like I want to come back and go through this again?

My son is obsessed with toys at the grocery store even though I prep him before each trip by telling him how we don't buy toys at the grocery store. One time he was particularly obsessed with a set of toy handcuffs (yes they were selling them in a grocery store) which I wouldn't buy him even if it was a toystore and he had birthday money! So anyway, trying to pry the handcuffs out of a screaming difficult child was not getting me anywhere so I just told him very clearly that he wasn't getting the handcuffs. He insisted that he was buying them (with what $$, I don't know). I was tired and wanted to avoid the struggle and actually buy groceries so I let it go. At the checkout I said, your not getting those, he argued back. The clerk rings them up, I pay for them, difficult child walks out of the store with them thinking he's the cat that ate the canary. We get to the car, I open the car, buckle him in, take the handcuffs out of his hands and throw them in the parking lot trash can. I told you, no handcuffs, I said. Not one of my finer Mommy Moments, but I got the groceries and avoided the tantum in the store. I got my shopping done and we would had milk, bread, and cereal for another week, mission accomplished.

Again, congratulations on your ability to put things in perspective and yes, maybe there is hope!
Christy