Out for a week now


Shooting from the Hip

I'm very, very pleased with the way things are going with Belle... There are a few things that tweak my radar, but they're not full blown.

She is appropriately happy to see us, spending time with us but (except for one night) sleeping at bio-gma's. Helping out with dishes after dinner, helping out with Rose (first diaper after release was a blowout and DISGUSTING - and she had to change her without a diaper station).

On Saturday we went for a family outing to a train themed museum/activity place. The kids had a blast! Rose was still a bit grumpy from having croup last week, but she LOVES trains, so we were okay. Then the outlet mall because Belle and Pat both needed new shoes, and Belle desperately needed bras (she didn't say it... I asked! LOL).

We also got her toiletries (mostly from husband's out of town trips - a TON of stuff), a new towel set, a military poncho liner (super warm), $50 at the thrift store (she got appropriate clothes, OMG), glasses, and I washed a not-quite-new but fluffy pillow for her to keep (I got a new, fancy gel one... LOL). We're trying to help without enabling. Fine line to walk... Lemme tell ya.

Now for a few things that have my radar up...

She decided before she got out that she was going to start smoking again. Enh, okay, it's better than drugs. And she's not smoking a lot, and never right next to Rose or Pat. But of course they have to be Marlboros, and not the cheap ones. I guess my biggest issue is her thinking that she will NEED something other than her medications for anxiety. Well, she's old enough now...

She's already seeing someone she knew from high school. THAT bothers me a lot... She needs to be comfortable with herself before jumping headfirst into another relationship. I'll give him a chance, because the first thing he said to me was, "It's nice to meet you, Mrs. AnnieO," and shook my hand... Then, a few moments later... "We're on our way to an NA meeting." Further queries (by husband) led to the information that he tries to go to one EVERY DAY and has been clean for more than a year. Well, we'll see. I pulled Belle aside, told her my concerns, and then told her to get herself to Planned Parenthood and get on the pill ASAP. She grinned and said she already had that planned.

And she sleeps. A lot. I guess she's having trouble sleeping at bio-gma's... Only one bed, and gma "spoons"... So she sleeps on the sofa or floor. Monday night she spent on our sofa because everyone was sick... Well, not EVERYONE. But no one with a license was in any shape to take her home! Pat was violently ill Sunday night and slept all day Monday; husband and Belle were both sick, Belle mildly and husband horribly, on Monday and slept most of the day Tuesday. I got a very mild case. I got a day off work to care for Rose, since I couldn't take her to day care without knowing if she was going to start projectile vomiting, my parents were out of town and the inlaws aren't reliable.

Took Belle "home" yesterday about 4 PM. She's talking about trying to get a job ASAP, so she can get her place and her car.

One week. I hope it continues.


Well-Known Member
Do not buy her ciggies. If she wants to engage in negative habits, she needs to pay for it herself. Buying negative things for them is enabling. The rest sounds fairly optimistic.


Well-Known Member
All in all its a good report. I was so afraid with mine when she began hanging out with addicts after rehab. Then it dawned on me that if they were following a program they were safer than her dating someone who was not. I know it's hard not to worry.

I think you are doing a good job at being supportive.


Shooting from the Hip
:) Oh, I REFUSE to buy her cigarettes! LOL I refused to buy them for husband after I quit and before he did... So now... Same applies. And husband is good with that.


Well-Known Member
Staff member
It sounds like a promising start. I will keep my fingers crossed that Belle continues to make progress.



Shooting from the Hip
So far, so good. She had me come get her last Wednesday for husband's birthday... Haven't seen her since. But then, she DOES have to get her life moving, and spending every waking moment with us won't help her there.