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General Parenting
OUT OF CONTROL 15 y.o. with- ODD
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<blockquote data-quote="timer lady" data-source="post: 47779" data-attributes="member: 393"><p>Tara,</p><p></p><p>These children have had to become survivors - couldn't allow themselves to trust an adult caregiver; in their eyes the caregiver can never do enough. It's the reality of many abused/traumatized children - especially if the abuse occurred pre-verbally.</p><p></p><p>There are many skills these children didn't learn. The one thing they did learn is that you cannot trust adults. Add in any other mental illness or addiction bio parents may have had - well, it's a HUGE challenge.</p><p></p><p>There may come a time to say "this is as good as it gets". My husband & myself have had to accept the limitations of my tweedles; their ability to love, their skewed perceptions of reality, their ability to manipulate & triangulate every single adult in their lives.</p><p></p><p>Not that it's acceptable around here. We have acknowledged the tweedles limitations. We are doing everything we can to get them every intervention possible - in the end, this just may be as good as it gets.</p><p></p><p>Tara, I would encourage your brother & your entire family to call difficult child on his behaviors. To point out to tdocs, psychiatrists, whomever you are dealing with that difficult children antics don't apply in your family. He is a survivor. Only he can accept that.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="timer lady, post: 47779, member: 393"] Tara, These children have had to become survivors - couldn't allow themselves to trust an adult caregiver; in their eyes the caregiver can never do enough. It's the reality of many abused/traumatized children - especially if the abuse occurred pre-verbally. There are many skills these children didn't learn. The one thing they did learn is that you cannot trust adults. Add in any other mental illness or addiction bio parents may have had - well, it's a HUGE challenge. There may come a time to say "this is as good as it gets". My husband & myself have had to accept the limitations of my tweedles; their ability to love, their skewed perceptions of reality, their ability to manipulate & triangulate every single adult in their lives. Not that it's acceptable around here. We have acknowledged the tweedles limitations. We are doing everything we can to get them every intervention possible - in the end, this just may be as good as it gets. Tara, I would encourage your brother & your entire family to call difficult child on his behaviors. To point out to tdocs, psychiatrists, whomever you are dealing with that difficult children antics don't apply in your family. He is a survivor. Only he can accept that. [/QUOTE]
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OUT OF CONTROL 15 y.o. with- ODD
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