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Out of control 15yo son breaking my heart and the law
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<blockquote data-quote="Cor" data-source="post: 719843" data-attributes="member: 22294"><p>Hi everyone, my name is Cor and I am new to this site. I am a broken mom holding on by a thread. Honestly I just don't even know what to do anymore. My 15 yo son within this past year has taken up hanging with the wrong crowd(trying hard to fit in)...smoking/stealing/selling weed, cigarettes, being disrespectful to authority(especially to me), skipping school and not putting much effort there at all...to lying about many many things, stealing all sorts of things from family members and others, to lastly just 2 weeks ago getting arrested for robbery and dangerous weapons. He apparently robbed someone he was getting weed from and who he was also selling weed to of their cellphone and metro pass with a knife.</p><p>You would like to think that being arrested and detained for 10hours with the police was enough to scare him straight...it worked for about a week. Then he had started going back to school(serious need for freedom and "friends") and now, it's nothing but skipping school again, and disregarding all our advice, guidance and not caring at all to follow the two rules we have for him currently which is come home by 4pm and no skipping. He has a court date in October and doesn't seem to care when we say this will affect the outcome of his case.</p><p>I am at my wits end. Daily phone calls from principals and teachers letting me know he's not in class, me feeling defeated day in day out not knowing how to get through to him anymore. He's always telling me I talk too much and to stop talking he doesn't want to hear it and this angers me. He has no care or concern about how he's treated all of us, no remorse or signs of wanting to change his ways and this crushes me. I deal with my own depression and anxiety and I can't express how hard this whole ordeal since he was arrested has been. I have him in counselling, and I feel he needs to go to the doctor but I know that's going to be a fight and not even sure what process to start because I don't know what is wrong but my mom instinct tells me there's deeper issues I just don't know what.. depression? ADHD? ODD? Bipolar? Anger issues? I have no idea. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p>this past year I've watched my sweet, empathetic, kind, loving son turn into some little wannabe "thug" who acted like jekyl and Hyde for a whole year.. at home acted like a typical teen who was late for curfew and started skipping school to someone I see throwing his life away to fit in and be cool and bad...I'm broken and don't know how to help my son get through this and it doesn't help when he could care less it seems. I'm truly scared to see where things go from here and want to do anything I can to stop this train wreck but also feel defeated, drained, disrespected, hurt, and completely a mess myself. Been trying hard to stay strong, patient, understanding and loving yet firm and he just tries to manipulate me and if that doesn't work(which it hasn't been) that's when all the attitude, disrespect and lack of caring come in to play. Any words of advice or wisdom, help and support are greatly appreciated. I'm trying my utmost best here <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> he has a big family and 4 parents here that love and care deeply and want to help him somehow before things get even worse. Where do we start? <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Cor, post: 719843, member: 22294"] Hi everyone, my name is Cor and I am new to this site. I am a broken mom holding on by a thread. Honestly I just don't even know what to do anymore. My 15 yo son within this past year has taken up hanging with the wrong crowd(trying hard to fit in)...smoking/stealing/selling weed, cigarettes, being disrespectful to authority(especially to me), skipping school and not putting much effort there at all...to lying about many many things, stealing all sorts of things from family members and others, to lastly just 2 weeks ago getting arrested for robbery and dangerous weapons. He apparently robbed someone he was getting weed from and who he was also selling weed to of their cellphone and metro pass with a knife. You would like to think that being arrested and detained for 10hours with the police was enough to scare him straight...it worked for about a week. Then he had started going back to school(serious need for freedom and "friends") and now, it's nothing but skipping school again, and disregarding all our advice, guidance and not caring at all to follow the two rules we have for him currently which is come home by 4pm and no skipping. He has a court date in October and doesn't seem to care when we say this will affect the outcome of his case. I am at my wits end. Daily phone calls from principals and teachers letting me know he's not in class, me feeling defeated day in day out not knowing how to get through to him anymore. He's always telling me I talk too much and to stop talking he doesn't want to hear it and this angers me. He has no care or concern about how he's treated all of us, no remorse or signs of wanting to change his ways and this crushes me. I deal with my own depression and anxiety and I can't express how hard this whole ordeal since he was arrested has been. I have him in counselling, and I feel he needs to go to the doctor but I know that's going to be a fight and not even sure what process to start because I don't know what is wrong but my mom instinct tells me there's deeper issues I just don't know what.. depression? ADHD? ODD? Bipolar? Anger issues? I have no idea. :( this past year I've watched my sweet, empathetic, kind, loving son turn into some little wannabe "thug" who acted like jekyl and Hyde for a whole year.. at home acted like a typical teen who was late for curfew and started skipping school to someone I see throwing his life away to fit in and be cool and bad...I'm broken and don't know how to help my son get through this and it doesn't help when he could care less it seems. I'm truly scared to see where things go from here and want to do anything I can to stop this train wreck but also feel defeated, drained, disrespected, hurt, and completely a mess myself. Been trying hard to stay strong, patient, understanding and loving yet firm and he just tries to manipulate me and if that doesn't work(which it hasn't been) that's when all the attitude, disrespect and lack of caring come in to play. Any words of advice or wisdom, help and support are greatly appreciated. I'm trying my utmost best here :( he has a big family and 4 parents here that love and care deeply and want to help him somehow before things get even worse. Where do we start? :( [/QUOTE]
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