Out of control 18 year old son/ needing some opinions


New Member
My 18 year old son has a thyroid condition (hyperthyroidism), and anxiety. He self medicates by smoking pot every chance he gets. He use to hide it from us but now he smokes it in his room, and bathroom. My husband and I have tore his room apart trying to find marijuana many times, without any luck. All we find are yeti cups filled with water and plastic bottles with holes in the bottom. My son was always a great athlete and was always busy do positive things. We bought him a brand new sports car when he turned 16, but then took it away from him when we realized he was smoking pot. We thought that would get him motivated to stop but he doesn't even care. He went on an anti-depressant and stopped smoking for a while only to start back up during Covid. His behavior became extremely strange, he started sneaking out, stealing money from us, and skipping football practice. He was on track to get a D1 scholarship and now we don't even want to mention his name to D2 schools because he'd mess it all up. He stopped the anti-depressant and I think that was a good thing, but he is still rude and vulgar when he's high. What he really wants to do is go into the military, and I'm all for it because I feel like that's our only chance in getting him help. He doesn't want to stop smoking pot. He doesn't think he has a problem, but he does. College is not an option because he wouldn't do the work, he'd just smoke pot all day. Has anyone tried the military route? He only has three more months of highschool. He is causing so many problems at home, but I feel like if he gets his diploma he'll have a better chance to overcome this. I don't want to put him in a rehab center because I've been told he'll go in there with a marijuana problem and could come out with a "bigger" problem.

I hope someone can help us.



New Member
I don’t have any advice, but I’m sorry your son is making such terrible choices. Just said a prayer for you and your son. (((hugs)))


100% better than I was but not at 100% yet

My son started with MJ at age 15 and he is now 25 and finally on a good track, not perfect but good.

As you can see below my son went on to harder drugs and there is a good possibility that your son may be doing other drugs also. Have you seen any evidence of this? I smoked a lot when I was young but for some people, it is the first step toward a very destructive lifestyle.

Our son was our youngest and was raised in a home filled with love and two engaged parents. I don't think it was anything that we did wrong. I can say that now after many years of guilt. As mothers we always blame ourselves. Our older boys who had both been through having divorced parents never had any of these problems.

If I were in your shoes I would let my son go go the military. It could be the discipline he needs. Without getting lengthy, my son did very well in his final very organized and demanding program. I think part of it was because he was ready to change and knew that if he did not he would not be able to have a relationship with his family - mainly me - and we had been very close up to his unraveling and we are close again today by the Grace of God.

If he is willing, I'd let him go. College is not for everyone and even those that do go sometimes take time off after high school to figure it all out. My son is finally doing well in college and this is his THIRD try. He will actually graduate in December and have the skills he needs to get a job and support himself.

I remember a good friend of mine cried a river when her son wanted to join the Marines after high school. He was not a problem child at all but it is what he wanted. She begged and pleaded but he went anyway. He has been out now for many years and is doing great. He loved his time in the Marines. I cried so many more tears over our son who I would have been thrilled to have join the military. I would have been very proud if he had decided to do that rather than WASTE so many years of his life treading water. Years that he can never get back but he's too young to realize this.

Good luck!