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Substance Abuse
Out of control 18 year old son
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 713866" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>Desperate</p><p></p><p>Sorry you are here but you have come to the right place.</p><p></p><p>Don't blame yourself. My son has also abused drugs since he was 15 and he led a charmed life with his father and I. My mother was an alcoholic so there is addiction in our family but I think most families have addiction or mental illness in the family genes.</p><p></p><p>We did the counselor thing too (among everything else that a parent can do) and if they aren't open and receptive it probably won't help much but it makes us as parents feel we are doing SOMETHING. It is all a very helpless feeling.</p><p></p><p>I would recommend that he go to rehab and NOT be able to return home. That is the key. After rehab he should go to sober living and work through his addiction there. I can almost guarantee you that otherwise he will come home and fly straight for a while and then go right back to it. That is what our son did many times and now he is in sober living in Florida (we are in Illinois) because we were at our whits ends and he was not adulting. I can see no reason he needs to ever live with us again although we will help him financially as long as he is doing the right thing until he can get a degree or find a way to support himself.</p><p></p><p>Your son is 18. That is very young but if he keeps drugging he'll never grow as a person and the addiction could actually kill him before he has a chance to turn it around. At least in rehab they can get their head clear and drug free although their thinking is very skewed, even when sober.</p><p></p><p>You don't say if you have any support for YOU. Some go to Alanon or other groups, but I have found therapy works best for me. I really can only handle MY own problem and this forum is a great way to reach out to others for help and to offer help which is a good way to help me heal. My therapist has helped me establish healthy boundaries for myself and my son. It is good for both of us. No one knows how to parent when these kids go off the rails.</p><p></p><p>I can tell you from my experience that there is no quick fix. You have to dig in your heels, educate yourself and ride this thing out.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 713866, member: 15032"] Desperate Sorry you are here but you have come to the right place. Don't blame yourself. My son has also abused drugs since he was 15 and he led a charmed life with his father and I. My mother was an alcoholic so there is addiction in our family but I think most families have addiction or mental illness in the family genes. We did the counselor thing too (among everything else that a parent can do) and if they aren't open and receptive it probably won't help much but it makes us as parents feel we are doing SOMETHING. It is all a very helpless feeling. I would recommend that he go to rehab and NOT be able to return home. That is the key. After rehab he should go to sober living and work through his addiction there. I can almost guarantee you that otherwise he will come home and fly straight for a while and then go right back to it. That is what our son did many times and now he is in sober living in Florida (we are in Illinois) because we were at our whits ends and he was not adulting. I can see no reason he needs to ever live with us again although we will help him financially as long as he is doing the right thing until he can get a degree or find a way to support himself. Your son is 18. That is very young but if he keeps drugging he'll never grow as a person and the addiction could actually kill him before he has a chance to turn it around. At least in rehab they can get their head clear and drug free although their thinking is very skewed, even when sober. You don't say if you have any support for YOU. Some go to Alanon or other groups, but I have found therapy works best for me. I really can only handle MY own problem and this forum is a great way to reach out to others for help and to offer help which is a good way to help me heal. My therapist has helped me establish healthy boundaries for myself and my son. It is good for both of us. No one knows how to parent when these kids go off the rails. I can tell you from my experience that there is no quick fix. You have to dig in your heels, educate yourself and ride this thing out. [/QUOTE]
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Out of control 18 year old son
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