Out of District Placement

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by jal, Sep 9, 2008.

  1. jal

    jal Member

    MY difficult child's IEP team just granted an out of disctrict placment for him. He had been doing well at home after his 3 week psychiatric hospital stay (and still is doing well at home). School started last week and by day 3 he began. FINALLY, (he's only 6), FINALLY did he finally verbalize to me that he cannot understand what is being said in the classroom as there is too much noise. (We've known stimulation has always been a problem). Well on Friday he had a huge meltdown, it was bad. I knew by my conversation with-the principal that this is what was coming. They have tried everything for him, they really have. We all have, but it is clear and has been since he was very young that he does so much better one on one. It's always been like that in daycare. He does horrible in groups because he can't concentrate or voluntarily settle because he is so stimulated. FINALLY, I believe he will now get the one-on-one help that he needs. His focus and mood has become so much better on the new medications.

    husband is distraught, crying at the IEP meeting. We all were a bit because they all love difficult child so. I know husband did not want to talk after, but I need him to understand that if we did not do this now that difficult child would just dig a hole with-the kids, the faculty (who don't yet know him) and he would get behind so badly if we didn't take this step. I honestly can't believe they are doing this, but I know the SD knows we ourselves and in conjunction with them too have exhausted all avenues and it is time to give it a go. I just pray that this will give difficult child time to concentrate on his learning and that with-in a few years he can mainstream back in. He is so smart and bright and wants so to be a "good kid".

    He'll be a bit sad though at first.
  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Jal! When your gut is telling you that this is the best thing, then trust your gut. You're so in-tune with him that you know that you're doing everything with his best interest in mind.

    husband will be sad and so will you for a while. Please know that just because he's a little different, doesn't mean that his future is bleak. Taking these steps so early seem like giant steps, but it will help make steps further down the road simpler.

    You're a warrior mom with a golden heart.

    March on!

  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    It IS sad when you see your kid can't function doing the "normal" stuff. I am amazed that school is willing to go this route for your son. So many here have fought so hard to get anything, and this is far and away an awesome opportunity. I am glad that this is being made a possibility, though of course I am sorry it is needed. I am just thankful your SD is responsive enough to offer it with-o making your child simply into "the bad kid" who is always in punishment.

    Many hugs, give yourselves time to grieve what is lost, then you will be better able to appreciate what is gained.

  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I do so hope this will work for you. It is good to hear a SD trying to provide services. Knowing that sounds bother him will help. Noises can be a major distraction. Good Luck!
  5. Christy

    Christy New Member

    Sorry you are having to make this decision. It is such a tough call. Do you have a say in choosing a new placement for your son. At the end of first grade, we (iep team) decided to place my son in a self-contained classroom for children with behavioral/emotional issues. It is a hard thing to do.

    I hope everything goes as you'd like it to and the new placement is just what your son needs but I am going to offer a word of caution--once you have signed off on this, it's hard to go back to the mainstream classroom.

    You mention that your child learns best in a one to one situation. Will he continue to have an aide in the new placement? Having a small class size with classroom aides does not offer the same level of support as a 1:1. Also consider that even if there are only a few kids in the classroom, these are all children with needs similar to your son's.

    I am not tryng to discourage you but I felt the need to play devil's advocate. If we were given the chance for a do-over, we would not have consented to our son's placement as quickly as we did. It may have ended up happening down the road anyway, but in hind sight, I feel we jumped too fast because our difficult child's behviors were so extreme. Be sure to look into the new program thoroughly and ask to observe a class in progress if possible.

    I wish you the very best!