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Out of home placement?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 640219" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Ditto. This is a dangerous kid who has seen too much and loved too little and it doesn't go away just because he is stable now. Yes, your son is in danger. We adopted a child who did similar stuff and found out he'd been sexually abusing our two younger kids for a few years, scaring them into silence. He used knives, fire, and killed two of our dogs. On the other hand, he acted really sweet to adults, which confused us all and we knew something was wrong but did not know where to place the blame.</p><p></p><p>The day he hung out new puppy by her leash (and this time there was no doubt it was him because the only people home were him and me) we found out about the sexual abuse and the little fires and everything else and called CPS to remove him. His diagnosis AFTEr being removed was Severe Reactive Attachment Disorder. He had no conscience, no understanding as to why he did what he did, no caring for anyone except for what we gave him materially, and no insight into himself. He wasn't guilty either. He was horrified that he got caught doing all these things, but not sorry for all of his many victims. </p><p></p><p>For a few years our family spend many days in special therapy with our two younger ones at the county's cost...I g ive them that.They felt really badly and tried hard to help and even charged him with sexual abuse of a minor because our younger kids were six years younger than him, which is the bar for a minor when the offender himself is a minor. I think it helped that my kids know he was found guilty and that they are believed because they are both doing great,b ut it didn't have to be that way and we found out other stuff...he stole a knife and used it to scare people, he went around trying to strangle neighborhood pets, we are sure he killed my oldest daughter's cat, he set little fires on his carpet, he may have abused a disabled child at school. These children are not just a threat to us or our family but to the community at large.</p><p></p><p>There are some children who it is too late to save by the time we get t hem. Welcome to our "system" that "helps" kids (cough, cough). Love does not fix all kids. I suggest getting him into other placement ASAP for the sake of your other boy and the community and your poor pets. In fact, I'd rehome the pets while he is there and put an alarm on his door so he can't visit your son in the middle of the night. You should probably even escort him back and forth from the bathroom at night rather than let him wander around th e house alone. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry you are going through this. He sounds like he is in the dangerous category and needs more help than you can give him. He needs 24/7 help. He should never be left at home unattended and you can't do that. Residential treatment is an option. Foster care is an option (although I don't think it's that good of one as most foster pasterns won't be able to deal with him either). Conduct Disorder is a child's diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder. If he can be helped at all, it is most likely to be where he can get 24/7 care and therapy, not in your home where he is a threat to everybody.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to you and I'm sorry this is happening. Do think about your 11 year old. Think about your pets. Think about your own lives.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 640219, member: 1550"] Ditto. This is a dangerous kid who has seen too much and loved too little and it doesn't go away just because he is stable now. Yes, your son is in danger. We adopted a child who did similar stuff and found out he'd been sexually abusing our two younger kids for a few years, scaring them into silence. He used knives, fire, and killed two of our dogs. On the other hand, he acted really sweet to adults, which confused us all and we knew something was wrong but did not know where to place the blame. The day he hung out new puppy by her leash (and this time there was no doubt it was him because the only people home were him and me) we found out about the sexual abuse and the little fires and everything else and called CPS to remove him. His diagnosis AFTEr being removed was Severe Reactive Attachment Disorder. He had no conscience, no understanding as to why he did what he did, no caring for anyone except for what we gave him materially, and no insight into himself. He wasn't guilty either. He was horrified that he got caught doing all these things, but not sorry for all of his many victims. For a few years our family spend many days in special therapy with our two younger ones at the county's cost...I g ive them that.They felt really badly and tried hard to help and even charged him with sexual abuse of a minor because our younger kids were six years younger than him, which is the bar for a minor when the offender himself is a minor. I think it helped that my kids know he was found guilty and that they are believed because they are both doing great,b ut it didn't have to be that way and we found out other stuff...he stole a knife and used it to scare people, he went around trying to strangle neighborhood pets, we are sure he killed my oldest daughter's cat, he set little fires on his carpet, he may have abused a disabled child at school. These children are not just a threat to us or our family but to the community at large. There are some children who it is too late to save by the time we get t hem. Welcome to our "system" that "helps" kids (cough, cough). Love does not fix all kids. I suggest getting him into other placement ASAP for the sake of your other boy and the community and your poor pets. In fact, I'd rehome the pets while he is there and put an alarm on his door so he can't visit your son in the middle of the night. You should probably even escort him back and forth from the bathroom at night rather than let him wander around th e house alone. I am sorry you are going through this. He sounds like he is in the dangerous category and needs more help than you can give him. He needs 24/7 help. He should never be left at home unattended and you can't do that. Residential treatment is an option. Foster care is an option (although I don't think it's that good of one as most foster pasterns won't be able to deal with him either). Conduct Disorder is a child's diagnosis of antisocial personality disorder. If he can be helped at all, it is most likely to be where he can get 24/7 care and therapy, not in your home where he is a threat to everybody. Hugs to you and I'm sorry this is happening. Do think about your 11 year old. Think about your pets. Think about your own lives. [/QUOTE]
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