Oxy addict sister in law in 3rd car wreck

[Mattsmom277]

My s/o's sister called a while ago from the ER. A few weeks ago she crashed her car, rear ended someone. Then she did a hit and run in a parking lot with a rental. Had no rental for past week, got her SUV back from $8K repairs on MOnday.

She totalled her car. Took 6 ppl to get her extracted from car (it caught fire). SHe's okay, sore back. Hasnt' been seen by doctor yet. Was slurring and out of it, not shock, drugs.

I called the ER and informed them of her history and to drug test her, they said to also call her doctor. So I called her family doctor, a 30 minute call. Police have now been called apparently to request she willingly allow a drug test, if not, she'll be charged for refusal. Basically prove you weren't under influence or be arrested like you were.

So glad nobody is dead. So hopeful she gets help. Had to call her husband who works 8 hours away, at his work . He is just dazed. Glad she's okay but lividly angry and at wits end.

I've told nobody about calling the er and doctor. My s/o doesn't know anything, hes in class.

I hope I didn't just cause his family a huge breakdown for making those calls. I was asked my name so was truthful.

 

[CrazyinVA]

Oh I am SO sorry. I hope this is a catalyst for change ... it's only a matter of time before she seriously injures someone other than herself Don't you for one second feel guilty about this. You did the right thing.

 

[Shari]

YOu didn't cause anyone anymore pain than the phone call will when she kills someone with this behavior. Hugs. And prayers for her.

 

[witzend]

I would call them back and ask them not to share that they got information from you. Even better if they could pretend that they came to this conclusion on their own...

You did the right thing.

 

[Mattsmom277]

She's here. She walked out of hospital. So no tests done. SHe just walked herself over to my house.
She's changed her story that she told me she was swerving to avoid a deer. But now says she was scrambling for a CD she dropped. Yeah right.
No clue what to do.
She's across the room on the telephone, so I can't type much. No clue what to do

 

[Mattsmom277]

She's saying on phone she walked out without even getting a prescription. Says shes going back to get it. Good!

 

[Mattsmom277]

Her story changed a few times. She was out of it and yet the ER didn't give her narcotics. S/O came home and her story to him was different. She called ER to ask to pick up the scrip she didn't stick around for, they said sure, the doctor wants to see you again anyhow. So it seems someone let the ER doctor know the concerns. I dont' expect this 2nd visit to be a fun one for her. I'm sure a storm is coming our way when she gets out of there. I will not be shocked if the police are waiting for her. What a mess. I just want her to get help.

 

[KTMom91]

You did the right thing. Hopefully this will be a wake-up call for her, and she'll get the help she needs. Hugs to you and the family.

 

[donna723]

What a difficult situation she's put you in! You did the right thing though. You may have saved a life, possibly even hers, by making that phone call.

 

[Mattsmom277]

Thank you everyone She didn't go back to the hospital. I think she got worried when they said the doctor wanted to see her again anyhow. Paranoid type worried. Anyhow, she went home. My mother in law just called and we had a long talk, compared all the lies told to me, my mother in law and my S/O today. Compared her speech and obvious drugged state. Turns out she lied to the police at the scene (the swerve to avoid a deer story) and something was wrong with the situation somehow (unclear so far) because the officer called her on it right there and she then made up a story about searching the floor for a CD and swerving off the road. When my mother in law just called her, my teenage niece brought the phone to my sister in law and my mother in law says she is so high she can't open her eyes, her daughter held phone to her ear, and she couldn't form a sentence to talk on the phone. So she left here, skipped the hospital and went home, doped up, and went to her bed in a drugged stupor.
My brother in law is on the long drive home right now. My mother in law is going to speak to my S/O's brother, my brother in law who lives a coupel hours away near to my mother in law, and see if the two of them can drive together here tomorrow. They would then pick me and S/O up, and we will arrive at her house and all of us call her out and AGAIN try to get her to go to rehab. My mother in law says regardless of what goes down, she will ask my brother in law to NOT replace this destroyed car, nor allow her to drive their other new vehicle. She says she will ask my brother in law to stand firm that if my sister in law doesn't get help, he will take the kids and file seperation. She was pretty distraught. I feel for her, she has a mom's heart. It can't be easy for her to consider telling her daughters husband to take her kids and leave her in attempts to help her reach bottom.
I am so worried for her, yet lividly angry with her. Being her friend before I met S/O makes this a family member, but at one time my dear friend. She STILL considers me that dear friend. I do love her very much. Just can't like her or respect her at this stage and want her to get help. Hope my other brother in law agrees to bring mother in law and come to town and we can all confront her. It's time.

 

[busywend]

She is not alone! Oprah did a couple specials on this one. Moms that are seemingly having a great life that are addicted to some form of narcotic or alcohol. The kids...what they have to endure....very sad.

You did the right thing. You just have to keep trying!

 

[susiestar]

You did EXACTLY the right thing is calling the ER and her doctor. in my opinion right now, while she is slurring and unable to talk an ambulance needs to be called. She may have head trauma that the pain medications cover. This could KILL her. Remember the actress who was skiing and dropped dead after hitting her head? Your sister in law could have swelling or bleeding in her brain - covering the symptoms with narcotics is a really BAD idea.

It will be hard for niece to do this. YOU can call and send the ambulance to check on her. If she is still that way when they arrive they will take her in.

As to this causing family drama, I am so sorry. You and your mother in law need to push her husband to do what is needed. Sounds like you are on the right track. Is it possible to have a counselor there to take her straight to rehab after your intervention? Like on the Intervention show on A&E (www.aetv.com to see past episodes online).

LOTS of hugs. Do not let her in, keep door locked so she cannot enter. Your kids do not need to see/hear this and you deserve a peaceful home.

Hugs.

 

[Hound dog]

MWM

You did EXACTLY the right thing.

I hope the confrontation goes well and she decides her family is more important than the drug.

Meanwhile, the way you described the crash.....I wouldn't be so sure about no head injury part. (not that it's necessarily severe or anything) And I worry she went home and got high right after an accident. NOT smart.

been there done that with my bff, not fun.

((Hugs))

 

[Mama Raygun]

I wouldn't think the hospital would tell her someone called them. It's not that uncommon for them to do a drug screen after a car accident so it would seem routine. Plus her thinking isn't too clear I'm sure, so she shouldn't suspect anything. You did the right thing, 3 wrecks...that's crazy! She needs help and she's too sick to realize it. When I was using I never thought I was impaired, I thought I was functioning normally, which I wasn't. Thank god her kids weren't w her!

 

[Mattsmom277]

This is actually a very old thread. Shortly after this, S/O and I invited her to stay away until she was ready to get help. She was not drug tested that day.

About two months later she moved 5 hours away. After her husband last spring said rehab or divorce, she went. She left after three days and continues to use. A few months ago she was arrested for DUI leaving a bar. She also tested positive for opiates. She is currently on bail. Last weekend she was arrested for shoplifting. Selling stolen goods for drug money. My mother in law told us her husband has given her one more week to move out. The kids are staying with their dad. It is very sad. I hope being broke and homeless and losing her husband and kids is what it takes for her to hit bottom. We dread mother in law's number on call display. We keep thinking it will be that most dreaded news that sister in law is gone.