Pain in the behind ... another parents difficult child is causing me to meltdown....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, May 12, 2010.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    mostly because I don't have time this week nor any week for that matter. I have family arriving in town Friday, a whole day of appts tomorrow plus I just don't need the aggravation. I have 2 difficult children of my own.

    Suffice it to say this involves one of kt's peers. A young man extremely fixated on kt - to the point of stalking. I called mom of peer as she requested & reported his "antics". I called school/day treatment to see if kt was in some way encouraging this (by the way, she's not).

    School personnel asked me questions which I answered honestly & now I have a very indignant parent who's bothering me just as much as her little wonder.

    The bottom line is that kt's peer is making less than stellar choices & then chooses to lie about it. Proceeds to tell friends of kt's at school her mom is a liar; all this because peer will not follow rules & has become a little stalker.

    Who has time for this? I don't, I have tweedles.

    Okay, I have the "whine" - who has the cheese? ;)
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'll bring the cheese! You definitely don't need another difficult child on your hands! Hugs.
  3. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I'll bring the cocktail napkins.......

    Sorry Linda - bad timing all around.

  4. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I have some lovely crystal stemware to use. This sounds a lot like Duckie's frenemy "A" and her mother (my former friend). Good luck... some people just like going through life with blinders on! :wine:
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Here's some sharp NY cheddar and Sociables. Eat, drink and be whatever!
  6. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    He may be newer to GFGdom than kt, and so his mother is less familiar with the problems you cause when you believe the lies.

    Put it in writing. Even if you don't ever show it to anybody, it can help 'gel' ideas.

    He's doing X, saying Y. He says you are saying Z but you are saying X. WHy would you lie? Look at it form his mother's point of view, what does SHE think you're up to? Now find the chink in the logic of this, and puncture it with your own response.

    If you choose to then go to her and say, "Here is the problem. You asked me to be upfront with you. I was. This is a problem for me because. It has now become a problem for you because. Neither of us need the added hassle of these problems, but we each have kids who add chaos to our lives. I've been doing this for a long time and also have other demands on my very limited energies. Now, we could work as a team, and each recognise that we need to get independent verification NOT from our kids as to what is really going on - or we could continue as we are and not achieve anything. I want to work with you. In order to do this, you need to listen to the people around your son, as I already listen to the people around my daughter. Remember what Judge Judy says about how you know a teenager is lying to you - their lips are moving."

    If she still won't play ball, walk away and don't tell her again. She doesn't really want to know. Not just yet. But she will. Because her son won't always be obsessed with kt. It will be another girl soon enough. ANd then she will realise that YOU are not her problem.

  7. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Do they have stalking laws in your state? I am not sure if it would be appropriate to press charges, but it is a thought. Stalkers are scarey, I feel for you and kt.
  8. flutterby

    flutterby Fly away!

    Oh geez. You know, this crxp has to stop for all of us. Too much! We have enough to deal with!

    I would be looking into whatever you need to do from a legal standpoint to protect everyone involved. You know, when you have a free moment. :rolleyes:
  9. erbaledge

    erbaledge New Member

    I'll throw out some hugs (((Timer Lady)))