yada, yada, yada. I saw my GP the other day; my eye specialist yesterday. I am feeling better from day to day; I can feel my strength building so that I want to do it all again. You know, the cleaning of the house, the 4 loads of laundry in one day, baking up a month's worth of cookies for lunches for kt & husband, piano lessons, golf, & a semi remodel of the extra room upstairs - throw in the upstairs bathroom for good measure. And then I realize I'm sitting here at 3 friggin o'clock in the morning, hurting beyond reason & feeling crushed by the small advances in my health & the reality of the long recovery ahead. I've been referred to a pain management clinic - appointment mid month in September. GP doctor did a referral for in home care; especially help with setting up medications (getting somewhat confused with the number of medications I'm currently taking - it is down to 12 from 16 when I left the hospital). Mostly the RN would be helping with the pain management until I get into the pain management program. It once again hit me how very lucky I am to be here talking with you - I forget many times how ill I was & how scared my family was for my life. I kept telling people Mom wasn't letting any more family in heaven right now. And you all know me, I want it done now. I need to be able to plan a few things & know others. GP doctor told me once again "you're going to accept help; you're going to chill & let your body heal" You are not going to question pain management orders - you're just going to get on top of the pain so you can function. Okay! So I've been told. I will listen. I feel so very helpless. I have a lot more functionality than most. I can do this. Thanks for the ear. Thanks for listening.