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Parent Emeritus
Panic...He's coming over.
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<blockquote data-quote="so ready to live" data-source="post: 691617" data-attributes="member: 20054"><p>Hi Drowning. Swot and upallnight have sound advice. You do whatever feels right for YOU-not him. I chose to "be at the library" when our son came to our home after nearly 3 mo. no contact. I just couldn't do it. My hubby informed me afterward on how he looked/how it went. I wondered if son thought I was "still mad" or didn't love him, of course that grieves me. But, I finally realize I can't take it. For me. For our marriage. It's a terrible place but where we were was a more terrible place. </p><p></p><p>This says it all. There's a book called "don't let your kids kill you" where the author suggests getting up each day and taking a paper, drawing a magic marker line down the center. One side is yours and one side your son's. This image has helped us as when we start to go there we are reminded to STOP, saying "not on my side of the line". What he thinks or doesn't think is so not on your side of the line. Save you. You're the only one who can. You got this. Prayers from another adoptive mom. </p><p>PS. Please don't chalk up all these years to failure with him. You did the right things at the appointed time. It's not the end of the story yet, is it?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="so ready to live, post: 691617, member: 20054"] Hi Drowning. Swot and upallnight have sound advice. You do whatever feels right for YOU-not him. I chose to "be at the library" when our son came to our home after nearly 3 mo. no contact. I just couldn't do it. My hubby informed me afterward on how he looked/how it went. I wondered if son thought I was "still mad" or didn't love him, of course that grieves me. But, I finally realize I can't take it. For me. For our marriage. It's a terrible place but where we were was a more terrible place. This says it all. There's a book called "don't let your kids kill you" where the author suggests getting up each day and taking a paper, drawing a magic marker line down the center. One side is yours and one side your son's. This image has helped us as when we start to go there we are reminded to STOP, saying "not on my side of the line". What he thinks or doesn't think is so not on your side of the line. Save you. You're the only one who can. You got this. Prayers from another adoptive mom. PS. Please don't chalk up all these years to failure with him. You did the right things at the appointed time. It's not the end of the story yet, is it? [/QUOTE]
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