Paper Talk

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Oct 18, 2009.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Eeyore has been having a rough month. Yesterday he escalated to the point that I seriously considered having him admitted to the psychiatric hospital. husband was able to get him to calm down enough to go to his room.

    He wrote in his journal that he thinks I'm a mean horrible mom and that he is 89%-93% sure he is never speaking with me again :rofl:

    I took his journal and wrote back to him and we passed the journal back and forth for about 20 minutes. He actually "listened" and we made some progress :)

    We're calling this a "paper talk" and making it his #1 new coping skill.
  2. smallworld

    smallworld Moderator

    I have actually heard that written notes passed back and forth between teenagers and parents can be very effective because it gives both party's brains time to think before they respond. I think you're on to something with Eeyore.

    We did something similar with our son when he was in wilderness this summer because we were not allowed any phone contact. We were only allowed to write letters back and forth. It was actually very meaningful and heartfelt communication.

    Thanks for sharing.:D
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    easy child and Nichole's journals often gave me insights into what they were thinking/feeling. But I've come to realize it takes a brave parent who can take what a kid, especially a teen, will put into a journal. I never took it personally. The journals were where they did their venting.....and usually about me. lol

    There were a few times when Nichole resorted to writing to tell me how she was feeling/what she was thinking. It gave her time to think thru what she wanted to say.

    Good idea Mom. :)

    And I got a good chuckle that he's only 89%-93% sure he's gonna talk to you again. :rofl:

  4. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I should use this with wm; heck the same with kt. JJJ, this is a wonderful idea.

    Thanks for sharing a positive coping skill. I'm so glad it's working for you,
  5. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

  6. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What a great idea! Wish I could use it with difficult child but because reading is so difficult for him so is writing-he'd be constantly asking me how to spell things!
  7. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Eeyore got upset tonight because he realized that he didn't do his volunteer work for the month for his religious ed class that meets tomorrow. I suggested he get some paper to write it out. He said, "nah, forget it. I'm not mad enough to write paragraphs." And was back under control!!!!
  8. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Love this idea! I personally have & will always benefit from writing before I talk. I just wish I could Matt to do this. Maybe with our new limited phone calls, I could get him to do it. Like SW, Matt did it in wilderness, and it was very, very beneficial/therapeutic.
  9. horserider

    horserider New Member

    You inspired me to write our difficult child more often while he is in a program.
    As a teenager, it takes some presuading for him to write back, but a lot of thought goes into the written word I believe. More words can come from the heart.
    The 2 page letter I got from my difficult child reminds me although things are so hard right now, there is still a lot of love inside for both of us...

    All my love is to you my most wonderful mother, you've been there through it all, good and bad. I always will love you....

    Words that he could not express verbally, he wrote from his heart. I will always cherish this letter.