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Parent Emeritus
Pardon me while I vent...
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 682158" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Look. I can feel how this would feel. Like fingernails on chalkboards.</p><p></p><p>But the thing is this: We do not get thrown at us what we like or what we can easily handle.</p><p></p><p>This is a challenge you will have to rise to and I have no doubt in my mind that you will.</p><p></p><p>None of what this "person" is doing has anything to do with you. She could run naked through the street with a mask over her face <em>of you </em>and it still would have not a thing to do with you, would it?</p><p></p><p>This is what she is doing, actually. The only way to get through this is to ignore her. She *I am assuming a female here, has serious boundary issues. That does not mean that you need to have them.</p><p></p><p>There are 2 different boundary strengths or weaknesses, that I can think of right this second. One is the person she is, who makes improper incursions into other people's personal space...The other is when we do not sufficiently protect ourselves from such incursions into our personal space.</p><p></p><p>Now, my personal limitation is the latter type (except M says I have an unfortunate tendency to stand too close to men, which he says in Latin countries is extremely ill-bred and wanton!!!) Oh well. He has learned to keep his distress at my extremely poor etiquette to himself.</p><p></p><p>So how do we deal with it when people hurt us, intrude on us, overrun us in ways we cannot control? Because I do not see one way that you can stop somebody like this from doing what she does--and I believe she would only escalate if you spoke to her.</p><p></p><p>Look at Obama. Like him or not, famous people have to find a way to tolerate all manner of disrespect, derision, disparagement, even demonization, against themselves and even their kids!!!</p><p></p><p>Look on the bright side. At least it is not in the newspapers or on TV!!</p><p>Look. Anybody who works along side of you knows this.</p><p></p><p>But the thing is, you cannot control whether they listen either. There may be people in the workplace who are not in love with us. They will find their ways to try to take us down. That is just the reality of things.</p><p></p><p>I see the solution inside of you. In your attitude and expectations. And where you put your personal boundaries. You define you. Nobody else does. Either you believe that or you do not.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 682158, member: 18958"] Look. I can feel how this would feel. Like fingernails on chalkboards. But the thing is this: We do not get thrown at us what we like or what we can easily handle. This is a challenge you will have to rise to and I have no doubt in my mind that you will. None of what this "person" is doing has anything to do with you. She could run naked through the street with a mask over her face [I]of you [/I]and it still would have not a thing to do with you, would it? This is what she is doing, actually. The only way to get through this is to ignore her. She *I am assuming a female here, has serious boundary issues. That does not mean that you need to have them. There are 2 different boundary strengths or weaknesses, that I can think of right this second. One is the person she is, who makes improper incursions into other people's personal space...The other is when we do not sufficiently protect ourselves from such incursions into our personal space. Now, my personal limitation is the latter type (except M says I have an unfortunate tendency to stand too close to men, which he says in Latin countries is extremely ill-bred and wanton!!!) Oh well. He has learned to keep his distress at my extremely poor etiquette to himself. So how do we deal with it when people hurt us, intrude on us, overrun us in ways we cannot control? Because I do not see one way that you can stop somebody like this from doing what she does--and I believe she would only escalate if you spoke to her. Look at Obama. Like him or not, famous people have to find a way to tolerate all manner of disrespect, derision, disparagement, even demonization, against themselves and even their kids!!! Look on the bright side. At least it is not in the newspapers or on TV!! Look. Anybody who works along side of you knows this. But the thing is, you cannot control whether they listen either. There may be people in the workplace who are not in love with us. They will find their ways to try to take us down. That is just the reality of things. I see the solution inside of you. In your attitude and expectations. And where you put your personal boundaries. You define you. Nobody else does. Either you believe that or you do not. COPA [/QUOTE]
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