mum2JK&TH
New Member
> PARENT - Job Description
>
> POSITION :
> Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
> Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
>
> JOB DESCRIPTION :
>
> Long term, team players needed, for challenging
> permanent work in an,often chaotic environment.
> Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational
> skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include
> evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some
> overnight travel required, including trips to
> primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports
> tournaments in far away cities!
> Travel expenses not reimbursed.
> Extensive courier duties also required.
>
> RESPONSIBILITIES :
>
> The rest of your life.
> Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
> until someone needs $5.
> Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
> Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able
> to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this
> time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
> Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
> such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and
> stuck zippers.
> Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate
> production of multiple homework projects.
> Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
> for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
> Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment
> the next.
> Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million
> cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
> Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
> Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the
> end product.
> Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work
> throughout the facility.
>
> POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
>
> None.
> Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
> complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
> so that those in your charge can & ultimately surpass you.
>
> PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
>
> None required unfortunately.
> On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
>
> WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
>
> Get this! You pay them!
> Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
> A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the
> assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
> When you die, you give them whatever is left.
> The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
> you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
>
> BENEFITS :
>
> While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
> reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
> this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth
> and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
>
> POSITION :
> Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
> Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
>
> JOB DESCRIPTION :
>
> Long term, team players needed, for challenging
> permanent work in an,often chaotic environment.
> Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational
> skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include
> evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some
> overnight travel required, including trips to
> primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports
> tournaments in far away cities!
> Travel expenses not reimbursed.
> Extensive courier duties also required.
>
> RESPONSIBILITIES :
>
> The rest of your life.
> Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
> until someone needs $5.
> Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
> Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able
> to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this
> time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
> Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
> such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and
> stuck zippers.
> Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate
> production of multiple homework projects.
> Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
> for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
> Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment
> the next.
> Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million
> cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
> Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
> Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the
> end product.
> Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work
> throughout the facility.
>
> POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
>
> None.
> Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
> complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
> so that those in your charge can & ultimately surpass you.
>
> PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
>
> None required unfortunately.
> On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
>
> WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
>
> Get this! You pay them!
> Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
> A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the
> assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
> When you die, you give them whatever is left.
> The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
> you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
>
> BENEFITS :
>
> While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
> reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
> this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth
> and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
