Parent Job Position - cute

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by mum2JK&TH, Oct 1, 2007.

  1. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    > PARENT - Job Description
    > POSITION :
    > Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
    > Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
    > Long term, team players needed, for challenging
    > permanent work in an,often chaotic environment.
    > Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational
    > skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include
    > evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call. Some
    > overnight travel required, including trips to
    > primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports
    > tournaments in far away cities!
    > Travel expenses not reimbursed.
    > Extensive courier duties also required.
    > The rest of your life.
    > Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily,
    > until someone needs $5.
    > Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
    > Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able
    > to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this
    > time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
    > Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges,
    > such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and
    > stuck zippers.
    > Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate
    > production of multiple homework projects.
    > Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings
    > for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
    > Must be willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment
    > the next.
    > Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million
    > cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
    > Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
    > Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the
    > end product.
    > Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work
    > throughout the facility.
    > None.
    > Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without
    > complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
    > so that those in your charge can & ultimately surpass you.
    > None required unfortunately.
    > On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
    > Get this! You pay them!
    > Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
    > A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the
    > assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
    > When you die, you give them whatever is left.
    > The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
    > you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.
    > BENEFITS :
    > While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition
    > reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
    > this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth
    > and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.
  2. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    Good one! :smile:
  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that
    &gt; you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

    :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

    Too cute! This one's going to easy child. :smile: