Parental Worry

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Anna1345, Jan 17, 2008.

  1. Anna1345

    Anna1345 New Member

    This was sent to me and it makes TOTAL sense. I thought I would share...

    Is there a magic cutoff period when
    Offspring become accountable for their own
    Actions? Is there a wonderful moment when
    Parents can become detached spectators in
    The lives of their children and shrug, "It's
    Their life," and feel nothing?

    When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital
    Corridor waiting for doctors to put a few
    Stitches in my daughter's head. I asked, "When do
    You stop worrying?" The nurse said,
    "When they get out of the accident stage." My
    Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing.

    When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little
    Chair in a classroom and heard how one of my
    Children talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
    And was headed for a career making
    License plates. As if to read my mind, a teacher
    Said, "Don't worry, they all go through
    This stage and then you can sit back, relax and
    Enjoy them." My dad just smiled
    Faintly and said nothing.

    When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime
    Waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come
    Home, the front door to open. A friend said,
    "They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry,
    In a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be
    Adults." My dad just smiled faintly
    And said nothing.

    By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being
    Vulnerable. I was still worrying over my
    Children, but there was a new wrinkle. There
    Was nothing I could do about it. My
    Dad just smiled faintly and said nothing. I
    Continued to anguish over their failures, be
    Tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in
    Their disappointments.

    My friends said that when my kids got married I
    Could stop worrying and lead my own
    Life. I wanted to believe that, but I was
    Haunted by my dad's warm smile and his
    Occasional, "You look pale. Are you all right?
    Call me the minute you get home. Are
    You depressed about something?"

    Can it be that parents are sentenced to a
    Lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another
    Handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of
    Human frailties and the fears of the
    Unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue
    That elevates us to the highest form of life?

    One of my children became quite irritable
    Recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been
    Calling for 3 days, and no one answered I was worried."
    I smiled a warm smile.
    The torch has been passed.
  2. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member

    That is so true!

    No matter how old a child gets they are still their parents little boy or girl. My dad never fails to ask me how I am feeling, am I warm or cool enough...blah blah blah...lmao. While he is worrying about me, I am worrying about him.

    The funny thing is that now my kids are starting to worry about US!

    We made a trip up to visit Jamie in mid December and stopped to do a little bit of shopping on the way in because Jamie had told us he was going to be working until 5pm. We figured we didnt need to worry about getting there until that time. My cell phone also is in roaming when Im in VA so I turn it off. Well...

    Jamie got off early and tried to call us and got the voice mail. So he called our house and found out we left early that morning. Then he went ballistic and started worrying and calling everyone including my father thinking maybe we had stopped there! He was about to call the state police when we pulled into his driveway...lmao. He was so upset with us.

    I told him...Jamie, if we had a problem, we would have turned the phone on and called you dummy!
  3. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Nice! Now if only my mom would stop worrying about me!!
  4. Jena

    Jena New Member


    you should write things, i don't know what articles for a local newspaper, submit something to a magazine. that was so well written and so true.

    thanks for sharing that. :smile: