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parenting a difficult child
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<blockquote data-quote="bystander" data-source="post: 36646" data-attributes="member: 3614"><p>I step-parented our first 2 kids (had them 90% of the time). They were, more or less, a breeze. We had predicatble, typical struggles of the ages ... but, looking back, we could take comfort in the fact that they <em>knew</em> right from wrong; and how to <em>apply</em> that knowledge in an appropriate way. We were confident when they went off to college and their adult lives that all would be relatively well.</p><p></p><p>I think what is so difficult with a difficult child, at least for me anyway, was all of a sudden realizing that certain things had to be taught that should, typically, be naturally-occuring. I am blessed that my son does pick up on things very quickly if you show him what he needs to know. But I also know that most NT (easy child) kids don't <em>need</em> that kind of instruction. :wink: This only builds on our own anxieties. How will he/she react to this today? What about 5 years from now? How do I get him/her to come around? Can I remove this trigger - and how without making it seem obvious or disrupting to other family members/friends? <em>Can</em> he/she ever come around?</p><p></p><p>When you parent NT (easy child) kids, you worry more about their friends, how they fit in socially, academics, etc. As a parent of a difficult child - you not only have <em>those</em> concerns; but they are magnified by how your child perceives the world <u>PLUS</u> then having to worry about how they will make it through the day without a meltdown, outbursts, conspicuous misunderstandings, etc., *you-name-its* that are just <em>non-issues </em>with PCs.</p><p></p><p>My difficult child is very mild (for now). But I can completely understand what it's like to be on both sides of parenting. Parenting my difficult child has been <em>light-years </em>harder (and he's only 6!)</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bystander, post: 36646, member: 3614"] I step-parented our first 2 kids (had them 90% of the time). They were, more or less, a breeze. We had predicatble, typical struggles of the ages ... but, looking back, we could take comfort in the fact that they [i]knew[/i] right from wrong; and how to [i]apply[/i] that knowledge in an appropriate way. We were confident when they went off to college and their adult lives that all would be relatively well. I think what is so difficult with a difficult child, at least for me anyway, was all of a sudden realizing that certain things had to be taught that should, typically, be naturally-occuring. I am blessed that my son does pick up on things very quickly if you show him what he needs to know. But I also know that most NT (easy child) kids don't [i]need[/i] that kind of instruction. [img]:wink:[/img] This only builds on our own anxieties. How will he/she react to this today? What about 5 years from now? How do I get him/her to come around? Can I remove this trigger - and how without making it seem obvious or disrupting to other family members/friends? [i]Can[/i] he/she ever come around? When you parent NT (easy child) kids, you worry more about their friends, how they fit in socially, academics, etc. As a parent of a difficult child - you not only have [i]those[/i] concerns; but they are magnified by how your child perceives the world <u>PLUS</u> then having to worry about how they will make it through the day without a meltdown, outbursts, conspicuous misunderstandings, etc., *you-name-its* that are just [i]non-issues [/i]with PCs. My difficult child is very mild (for now). But I can completely understand what it's like to be on both sides of parenting. Parenting my difficult child has been [i]light-years [/i]harder (and he's only 6!) [/QUOTE]
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