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General Parenting
Parenting ideals - Unconditional parenting
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<blockquote data-quote="Allan-Matlem" data-source="post: 11159" data-attributes="member: 10"><p>Hi,</p><p>Often when parenting a difficult child we are so concerned with putting out fires, making our homes functional that we lose the bigger picture of ' parenting'. Being very passionate about Collaborative problem solving approach - Ross Greene - The explosive child, Edward de Bono - Teach your child how to think , The Myrna Shure series - Raising a thinking child etc , the book Unconditional parenting - moving away from Rewards and punishments to love and reason helped complete and round off the paradigm shift that the Explosive child started for me.</p><p>In his foreword Kohn asks parents - what are your long term objectives for your children ? what word or phrase comes to your mind to describe how you would like them to turn out , what would you want them to be once they are grown ? Most parents said that they wanted their kids to be happy, balanced independent, fulfilled, thoughtful , loving , caring etc. Kohn then argues that interactions with children that evoke discussion, examination and reflection of who they are and their impact on others will help with these goals. Rewards and punishments may in the short-term produce compliance but engraves on the kid's mind the question , what's in it for me , what will I get if I do this , what will be done to me if I do this. Parenting is not just getting behavior , doing kind acts but rather becoming a kind person.</p><p></p><p>check his site <a href="http://alfiekohn.org" target="_blank">http://alfiekohn.org</a> for articles on parenting, education, and business -- all the same theme. He ' blows my mind ', challenging conventional wisdom. For me Kohn puts education back into parenting. So if you are a fan of the Explosive child this book and Alfie Kohn's site is for you.</p><p></p><p>Allan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Allan-Matlem, post: 11159, member: 10"] Hi, Often when parenting a difficult child we are so concerned with putting out fires, making our homes functional that we lose the bigger picture of ' parenting'. Being very passionate about Collaborative problem solving approach - Ross Greene - The explosive child, Edward de Bono - Teach your child how to think , The Myrna Shure series - Raising a thinking child etc , the book Unconditional parenting - moving away from Rewards and punishments to love and reason helped complete and round off the paradigm shift that the Explosive child started for me. In his foreword Kohn asks parents - what are your long term objectives for your children ? what word or phrase comes to your mind to describe how you would like them to turn out , what would you want them to be once they are grown ? Most parents said that they wanted their kids to be happy, balanced independent, fulfilled, thoughtful , loving , caring etc. Kohn then argues that interactions with children that evoke discussion, examination and reflection of who they are and their impact on others will help with these goals. Rewards and punishments may in the short-term produce compliance but engraves on the kid's mind the question , what's in it for me , what will I get if I do this , what will be done to me if I do this. Parenting is not just getting behavior , doing kind acts but rather becoming a kind person. check his site [url]http://alfiekohn.org[/url] for articles on parenting, education, and business -- all the same theme. He ' blows my mind ', challenging conventional wisdom. For me Kohn puts education back into parenting. So if you are a fan of the Explosive child this book and Alfie Kohn's site is for you. Allan [/QUOTE]
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