Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Parenting ideals - Unconditional parenting
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 11166" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Allan, my experience with difficult child is similar to mine with different results. Your difficult child felt you were manipulating, stroking or that he was doing so poorly that you had to praise him for doing regular things.</p><p>I found that constant praise for normal acceptable behavior became a hollow tin can. Lots of noise but not much substance. difficult child has such wonderful self esteem that he is shocked that we would be displeased with his shortcomings. It didn't do much to open up his world from self absorption to part of the family unit. </p><p></p><p>Comments from difficult child(over the years).</p><p>"that school doesn't know I'm special"</p><p></p><p>"I don't understand the words to that song. "there is always a reason to not feel good enough". I always feel good enough"</p><p></p><p>"how I am is good enough".</p><p></p><p>His good enough was pretty nonfunctional so obviously it wasn't and isn't. </p><p></p><p>I turned to pointing out his positive behavior. Just noticing it. I point out how easy child or husband would react to the same situation that difficult child would meltdown over. I really try to make interactions a learning experience. I must say after a certain age(21) I just wanted him to "do it" and not have a learning experience. </p><p></p><p>Somewhere between having a difficult child feel he never does anything right and difficult child thinking how he is now is good enough has to be a moderate middle ground. </p><p></p><p>Thank you for the referrals. We need some fresh books and articles for the group to read. These are highly recommended. :bravo:</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 11166, member: 3"] Allan, my experience with difficult child is similar to mine with different results. Your difficult child felt you were manipulating, stroking or that he was doing so poorly that you had to praise him for doing regular things. I found that constant praise for normal acceptable behavior became a hollow tin can. Lots of noise but not much substance. difficult child has such wonderful self esteem that he is shocked that we would be displeased with his shortcomings. It didn't do much to open up his world from self absorption to part of the family unit. Comments from difficult child(over the years). "that school doesn't know I'm special" "I don't understand the words to that song. "there is always a reason to not feel good enough". I always feel good enough" "how I am is good enough". His good enough was pretty nonfunctional so obviously it wasn't and isn't. I turned to pointing out his positive behavior. Just noticing it. I point out how easy child or husband would react to the same situation that difficult child would meltdown over. I really try to make interactions a learning experience. I must say after a certain age(21) I just wanted him to "do it" and not have a learning experience. Somewhere between having a difficult child feel he never does anything right and difficult child thinking how he is now is good enough has to be a moderate middle ground. Thank you for the referrals. We need some fresh books and articles for the group to read. These are highly recommended. [img]:bravo:[/img] [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Parenting ideals - Unconditional parenting
Top