Parents of homeless adults


New Member
Just joined, not sure how to get to post I read prior to registering?

My son is 38, been in and out of psyc wards since 14, he is bipolar and chemically dependent.. He is and has been unemployable. I have provided support, financial and emotional support for years, up untill approximately five years ago, when I had to choose between me or him, I chose myself, knowing I would be of no value to anyone if I lost myself...

He is surely a victim of his illness, and I was being victimized by his illness. He has options, however refuses them, his motto is " no comply" he is consistent at not complying with anything, he is or will be homeless again soon.

He needs structure, unfortunately the only structure that I see in his future is prison, or death.

I am in therapy and have been for quite sometime.

It is still hard to dodge group discussions in the workplace, where people are talking about how great there children are doing, or there beautiful grandchildren experiences. The last thing in life I want is grandchildren...

Hopes and dreams for my beautiful, cute, handsome son have diminished, grief is brutal, as is life at times....

If he gets help and stabilizes, I would reunite, but not until then. I am grateful to a brother that has experience and tolerance for the chemically dependent. I provide money to my brother to do with it as he sees fit, without letting my son know that I am contributing, because my son would be asking for more from me and bothering me a abusive manner.

I hope I am using this forum as intended, not looking for advice, just sharing my experience, it helps to vent......


Well-Known Member
Staff member
Weekends can be slower here. So , expect more activity in the coming days. Welcome.
I/we understand.

I got to a point where I had to think about me or /vs my adult child. It becomes overwhelming. One can only do or give so much. The person who is in ill has to want to help themselves, make at least some effort, accept help.

They are a victim of their illness and this is heartbreaking. But what I said above still applies.

We can’t lose ourselves …even destroy ourselves as they can take and take until there is nothing left. To say this is “unhealthy” is an understatement.

Many have found help with private therapy and 12 step programs for themselves like al anon, narcotics anonymous and Families Anonymous. There are even on line groups these days.

Stay strong…keep posting.


Well-Known Member
Hi there. I am very sorry.

Like you, it was me and the rest of my family or her and her abuse. I chose us. Almost lost my husband and my other kids by putting all I had into her. Life is much better now.

I am also in therapy and an awesome Zoom Meeting 12 step program.

You can ask for or share thoughts, your opinion and what worked or didn't work for you. The enabling we did and the money we blew on our daughter (lots) really hurt all of us and our daughter is now homeless. She is on SSDI and has foodshare and Medicare/Medicaid through the state. If your son isn't collecting SSDI, he should be. You can't support him his whole life. None of us can do that. In the end, they are without us anyway.

I hope you keep posting. We understand.