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Parking tickets arrived in the mail
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<blockquote data-quote="everywoman" data-source="post: 21134" data-attributes="member: 1436"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Sue C</div><div class="ubbcode-body"></p><p>husband told me if she does not call back the bicycle warehouse today to ask if she's going to get an interview, I should call and pretend I'm her. What is everyone's advice on that??</p><p> </div></div></p><p></p><p>No! That will just enable her even more. If husband wants to enable, it doesn't mean that you have to. Tell him to call and pretend that he is her. Sue, even if husband will not get on the same page, there are things <u>you</u> can do to not enable:</p><p></p><p>1. Don't make excuses for her behavior.</p><p>2. Quit doing the little "nice" things for her, ie buying her special treats, fixing meals because "its her favorite", giving her gas money to visit friends or hang out, washing her clothes, cleaning up after her.</p><p>3. Don't remind her daily of what she needs to do. She already knows, but doesn't want to. It just frustrates you.</p><p>4. Don't look for jobs for her. That is her job.</p><p>5. Be polite, but not "motherly." </p><p>6. You and husband go out to eat frequently and leave her to fend for herself.</p><p>7. Disconnect the cable in her room. </p><p>8. Disconnect her cell phone.</p><p>9. Begin to enjoy life instead of worrying about her.</p><p>10. Disconnect the battery cables in the car. She may have the keys, but it won't run anymore!</p><p></p><p>Let husband know that this is how you will approach the situation from this point on. She may pitch a fit. When she does, go for a walk or a drive or get online and talk to us. Ignore her tantrums. Let her rant and rave. Just don't give in. If husband chooses to, that is his choice. At least you will know that you are doing what you need to do to help her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="everywoman, post: 21134, member: 1436"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Sue C</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> husband told me if she does not call back the bicycle warehouse today to ask if she's going to get an interview, I should call and pretend I'm her. What is everyone's advice on that?? </div></div> No! That will just enable her even more. If husband wants to enable, it doesn't mean that you have to. Tell him to call and pretend that he is her. Sue, even if husband will not get on the same page, there are things <u>you</u> can do to not enable: 1. Don't make excuses for her behavior. 2. Quit doing the little "nice" things for her, ie buying her special treats, fixing meals because "its her favorite", giving her gas money to visit friends or hang out, washing her clothes, cleaning up after her. 3. Don't remind her daily of what she needs to do. She already knows, but doesn't want to. It just frustrates you. 4. Don't look for jobs for her. That is her job. 5. Be polite, but not "motherly." 6. You and husband go out to eat frequently and leave her to fend for herself. 7. Disconnect the cable in her room. 8. Disconnect her cell phone. 9. Begin to enjoy life instead of worrying about her. 10. Disconnect the battery cables in the car. She may have the keys, but it won't run anymore! Let husband know that this is how you will approach the situation from this point on. She may pitch a fit. When she does, go for a walk or a drive or get online and talk to us. Ignore her tantrums. Let her rant and rave. Just don't give in. If husband chooses to, that is his choice. At least you will know that you are doing what you need to do to help her. [/QUOTE]
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