Parole Hearing for Sex Offender tomorrow

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by hearts and roses, Jul 22, 2008.

  1. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    If you think of us, please send up a supportive thought. Thanks~

    difficult child and I are going to prepare her statement together tonight and we have to be there by 9:15AM, so we're leaving around 7:00 AM because we'll be stuck in traffic.

    I am nervous, I'm sure difficult child is nervous. Fortunately, his parole officer told us that they will remove him from the room while difficult child reads her statement. Fingers crossed that his is a turning point for difficult child and she can finally put this behind her. He's only been in for 3 years and his sentence was 10, so I am hoping he doesn't get paroled yet. I'd like difficult child to have a couple more years of development before she has to think about him out there, Know what I mean??
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hope everything goes smoothly for you and difficult child! I'll keep you in my thoughts.
  3. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Crossing body parts and sending good juju and positive thoughts your way.
    I too hope that the parole board sees the light.

  4. Star*

    Star* call 911

    If Toto will bring the Cat bus? I'll throw him under it.

    Best wishes for a good day tomorrow.....and forever after that for difficult child too!

    Sending HUGE hugs and nasty glares....i can't believe they wouldn't do this via video for her. jerks.

    We're with ya Jo!
  5. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    Hoping for the best outcome for difficult child.....may she have a few more years of peace!
  6. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Jo, I hope he rots in ____....

    Sending good thoughts.

  7. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Jo, many prayers and good wishes.
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im glad they will remove him before she reads her statement.

    If he got sentenced to ten years I doubt he would get out this soon anyway on his first hearing...its probably just a formality. I think he would have had to turn into superman to get out. Doubt that has happened.

    Here is to hoping difficult child can start to put this stuff behind her soon.
  9. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    We'll be with you. We're proud of difficult child.
  10. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I will be with you, and am praying for the best outcome!

    I will help Star if Toto brings the Catbus!

    Hugs hugs hugs!!!
  11. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    Hi Jo,
    thinking of you guys this morning--please let us know how it goes when you can.
  12. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    So? How did it go?
  13. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    [FONT=Times New Roman,Times,Serif]He was denied parole! difficult child read her statement (that we prepared last night together) and got about 1/4 of the way into the second paragraph before she fell to pieces. I had to continue for her, and I was already teared up, my voice was cracking, but I was determined to speak her peace. It was good. [/FONT]
    [FONT=Times New Roman,Times,Serif][/FONT]
    [FONT=Times New Roman,Times,Serif]Then, at the end, I asked if I could make an additional comment and they said yes, so I was able to comment on some things that the defendent had said during his time....all he talked about was how he's grown from this and how he doesn't want to be the person he was and how he feels bad about this having a lasting effect on daughter but he can only see things from how he feels and how he's changed, etc....oh, and he found God too - I just love that (difficult child and I just gaped at each other at that point; at some point she asked if I would hold her hand). And when asked if he had a propensity to target underage girls, even though it clearly states in his record that he does, he answered "no, I don't think that I do, it's just that it was discovered after the fact." Later difficult child pointed out that perhaps that is because he was only caught twice at it. Ick. And the board kept pointing out his age and the difference in years...etc.[/FONT]
    [FONT=Times New Roman,Times,Serif][/FONT]
    [FONT=Times New Roman,Times,Serif]So, when I was able to speak my peace, I said that in order for him to truly have rehabilitated himself, he needs to learn empathy so he CAN understand how his victims feel. That it seemed to me that Mr. ____ continues to be the same self centered person he was 3 years ago because all he seems to care about is how he's come through this, without a thought or concern as to how his victim has come through it. I said that perhaps when Mr. ________ is fully capable of feeling and showing some empathy for his victim, then a parole may be a consideration, but in my world, it's too soon. He has a lot more growing up to do - and he's 32!!!!! O.M.G. [/FONT]

    Thanks for the support - I am so proud of difficult child for being able to not only attend, but for facing him.

    Janet, if he had been removed from the room when difficult child made her statement, it wouldn't have been a part of the official record of proceedings for some reason - it's a loophole in the law - so difficult child decided that she could do it. He was no less than 5 feet from her when she sat up there in front of the panel and we spoke. She said it was like a surreal experience afterwards because in her mind she kept pushing it all down deeper and deeper, ignoring that it ever happened and pretending it was a dream, but that when she saw him, it all came flooding back and she felt so weird. I'm guessing that is similar to an out of body experience? Not sure, but I think the overall goal of her being able to face her assailant and *hopefully* move from this has moved a little closer to us all. I'm grateful.

  14. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I don't know that I would call it an out of body experience. It's most certainly PTSD and reliving the experience.

    I'm glad it turned out well. What a jerk to say that he couldn't tell she was 14/15 years old! I mean, any man 28 years old shouldn't be messing with an 18 year old, anyway! He most certainly knows a little girl when he sees one. I know all 14 year old girls like to think that they are women, but really they are little girls, and men who think that they are free game should be shot.

    The next time he's up for parole and tries the "I didn't know how old she was" bit, I'd ponder with the board as to how it is that he's figured out how to tell the difference between women and little girls in prison.
  15. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I'm so glad the parole board saw some reason. More and more, one-third of a sentence seems to be sufficient so long as there were no problems while in prison. That's what happened with my stalker -- 10 year sentence, out in 3-1/3 even though he admitted he was still infatuated with me.

    Your daughter was very brave. It is hard to face the man who has harmed you like that. Give her a huge hug from all of us. This is one board auntie who understands exactly how hard it was to do. She gets my personal medal of valor.
  16. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    Very good! I'm with Witz, such men should be shot. I don't mean that rhetorically, either.
  17. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    You both have reasons to be proud. Good job. DDD
  18. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am so proud of you and your daughter. This was a HARD thing to do! And you did it!

    I am glad the parole board saw reason and kept him in prison.

    Hugs to both of you!
  19. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    So proud of her! That took so much strength to get up there and speak. Good for her!
  20. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Jo, I'm so glad he was denied parole! It sounds like both you and difficult child did great!

    I've worked in a close security State prison for the last 22 years and our parole hearings are held at the other end of the hall that our offices are in. Trust me on this one ... they are ALL remorseful, they have ALL changed for the better, they ALL see the error of their ways, and they have ALL managed to find God! And they ALL says exactly what they think the parole board wants to hear, whether they mean it or not. They say anything that they think will help sway the decision in their favor. But the people on the parole board are not fools and they've heard it all before. Statements from the victim can have a big impact, but they go by other things too. The inmate's attitude has a lot to do with it - like you said, does he seem genuinely concerned with the victim or just himself. Input from the staff carries a lot of weight too. They look at the inmates work record and the number of disciplinary write-ups he's had. And many times they deny parole simply because the offense was a serious one and they believe that he needs to do more time.

    So glad it worked out the way it did, and I hope that attending the hearing will have a beneficial affect on your daughter.