Parole Officer issue

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by klmno, Dec 7, 2009.

  1. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I just spoke with PO- he said we need to have our 90 day face-to-face meeting next week. This is after his typical "so how are you" questions where he asked it like it's in passing but won't accept the typical "ok, I guess" or "Fine, thank you" answer. So, he asked about HI and I tell him it's a no-go because I can't do what they want for the clearance without knowing difficult child can go with me, thus saving the cost of having to return to get him. He said "hmm". I said it's a catch-22 thing- no one wants to commit to anything so I can't do anything. He said "well, I'm sorry to hear that. But next week is when we need to talk about where difficult child's plans for release we'll discuss what you're going to do then".

    WTH? He knows I have no plans now- he's partially responsible for that by not sticking to what he told me. I have no job and can't even tell him where I will be living when difficult child is released. He obviously didn't care that I didn't get the HI job to work out and actually, his tone of voice sounded happy about it. Am I being paranoid by starting to think that the CSU people are trying to sabatoge any effort I make for difficult child to come home, to give them a legal reason to make sure he doesn't?
  2. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    As I posted before I am genuinely sorry that the HI opportunity didn't come through. on the other hand you did say a few times that you really wondered if you wouldn't be better moving to a nearby community and starting over again. It sounds like now is the time to do it. Obviously the State is not going to say it is ok for you not to have a plan for providing a home that is safe for your son.

    Those of us with difficult children thoroughly understand your disappointment, your confusion and your resentment that the system caused you unnecessary grief. BUT...if you have to cut expenses to the bone, take a minimum wage job or two, apply for food stamps and supplemental income from the government..just do it. To transition from a home, two dogs and a sense of security into the unknown has to be anxiety filled for you. I don't see that you have any choice and the sooner you fall back and regroup the sooner you will be headed for a reunited family.

    Try temp jobs. Try holiday openings. Sign up to do the census. Accept multiple jobs sense you are living alone and can do it. Sell your unneeded things. Try to find foster homes for the fuzzbutts. Focus on the one and only really important goal...find a safe (even if much smaller) place to call home and make it your own. I've been there done that and it is bad news but you are an adult who is healthy and bright. Look at it as an opportunity and go for it. DDD
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    All that sounds wonderful- but think this thru. I can't get a job out of this area unless it was the HI job because no one else is going to hire over the phone and I can't travel all over ($$$$) going to interviews for a small chance to get a job. I am looking around here for other jobs- as I have been. I can't force someone to hire me. It's not like I have rec'd an offer and turned it down. They aren't going to let him come here if I'm working 2+ jobs because I can't supervise him.
  4. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    My supplemental jobs were done from home. Overseeing an elderly person or (heaven forbid) the child of a working parent can be done in such a way that you are not leaving difficult child alone for long periods. He can be in a class, tutoring session, afterschool activity, or on a sports team. He might also be able to help you and accompany you. You could do grocery shopping for the homebound. You might be able to act as manager at an apartment complex so you would be on the premises.

    It is a bummer but perhaps you could share a home with someone else who is in financial difficulty. Try to brainstorm and see the cup as half full instead of half empty. It would, of course, be a big step down from your current life but the main thing is that he would be in a loving environment
    with his Mom. DDD
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    DDD, I am willing to do those things but you need to keep in mind- so are 10,000 other people around here and there aren't that many people looking and the ones that are looking want someone with experience in this area. In order to get a place to rent, one must show steady employment at a regular job. I'm just trying to be realistic here. I am trying to find whatever I can but for those not in the job market right now it must look like these jobs are just out there and no one will take them- that is NOT what is going on.
  6. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    O I second that! I cannot BELIEVE that I can't land a lousy job as a cashier somewhere. It's absolutely unreal!!!
  7. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Well, I've been on the phone today so much that now I need to wait for the battery to recharge again. It went dead when I was holding the 20 mins for legal aid for bankruptcy. LOL! I'll just use that time to look and see what I can do on the computer.

    It looks like I'm going to have to file bankruptcy. I owe 2 credit card companies and one either wants a whole lot within 4 mos or a monthly fee that is still higher than I could afford.

    I'm exploring all three options at once- 1) a job in my field in this area to prevent foreclosure, 2) Any kind of job within driving distance (so I don't lose a lot of money looking for a job) which could get me a job even though I'd still lose the house, and 3) getting something worked out credit wise (which has to be done anyway) so I can fax something in writing to HI and see if they change their mind.

    Oh- I called the credit counseling place- they won't help unless the person has a job already.
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2009
  8. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I know you dont want to think about this but start the application for Section 8 or low income housing in an area where you would be willing to move. Im not exactly clear on what your area of work history is but if it was the computer industry, you may have to look into another field. That field is oversaturated. You might have to go on welfare for a while and retrain into something in the healthcare field. Or god I would suggest healthcare though because we all get sick. No shortage of sick people.

    You can train to be a radiology tech in less than a year or so. Then work and move up while training more. You can do that down here while living with your mom...yes god forbid!

    Junk happens.
  9. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    My mother has informed me she's selling her house- she would never allow me to stay with her a year anyway- even if I thought we could survive it, which I don't. (She has flat out told difficult child before that he didn't have to listen to me because "he was as big as me now".)

    I have no problem at all going back to school- it just doesn't pay the bills while I'm in school- or support a kid. I don't qualify for the program where they help retrain someone I don't think. If I did, and could support difficult child while doing it, I would be glad to.
  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    There are ways. Did you use your GI Bill? If not, that is some funds. There are other funding options out there to go to school. All you need to do is find them and find some place to live. Honestly, we know of a one room rental in Triangle for 350! Im betting welfare pays that much in VA. With some doing you could manage. Im sure there are trailers for rent all over in some outlying areas that are fairly reasonable. Yes, not in nice parks but hey...we gotta do what we gotta do.

    At this point, you just start from scratch.
  11. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    KLMO, even if you are not drawing a disability pension, you are eligible for the VA Vocational Rehab program plus job assistance.

    I lost my house. I moved from a gorgeous 8 room bungalow in Chicago after my job (high paying IT position) got outsourced and I was let go both due to BiPolar (BP) issues and to my being at the top of the pay scale.

    I now live in a tiny mobile home in a small town in WI and believe it or not, now that I've adapted, I'm happier here than I was in that big house without husband.
  12. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I served in peace time, years ago. I get NO gi bill or VA benefits. The gi bill was not in place afte viet nam and I guess it was restarted or replaced with the current wars. I did have some limited assistance for education and that was used up by me second year of college when getting my first degree.

    I have no problem moving to a smaller place- it's getting a job I'm worried about. And what to tell PO next week. I don't want to take my last dime and move to a place then find out I can't get a job there- but get one some place else, but can't afford to move again.
  13. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Ok...lets all do some what do they call it...brainstorming!

    What are your skills? Tell me. Dont just give me your last job...but what skills do you possess...we know you can parent a difficult child so you could possibly work as a community services technician...hey...what is your degree in and is it a BA or AA
  14. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    It's a very specialized field- my degree, 20 years of experience and profession- so I'm not going to list it here and don't want it made public here. I am looking for any position that is related. Unfortunately, about the only ones I can find available right now are with the government. It's a good field but it is limiting. Normally, the economy is not this bad so it has never been this much of a problem to weather the storm before.

    Anyway, it might be that the best bet is to file for bankruptcy and see if the government will approve me then. I'm also going to see if I can get a temp job in my field around here- just to buy some time.

    I've also got ads out there for services I can provide that are skills pertaining to my field because this is what I'm skilled at. It's very competitive, especially with so many people in this field unemployed right now. But it's not as competitive as the jobs requiring no skills because every unemployed person is trying to get those.

    The HI job wasn't sought because I was trying to fulfill a fantasy- it was because they were looking for someone who could do that job. They have an opening somewhere in this state for the same thing but I can't get it either until I can get the clearance to pass- so back again to the debt issue. I know because this all came about by me applying for a governement job for this position and it asked me (online) where I would relocate and I clicked on several states- it just happened to be HI that called me over it.
    Last edited: Dec 7, 2009
  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well..if you have a BA...even in any can be a tech...dont know what they call it up there but they are the people who go with the difficult child's to school or into the community. Here they were called Hi risk techs but now they are called Community Support Tech or something like that. Or maybe its a paraprofessional. I cant remember the exact names because they change them like underwear. LOL.

    Call mental health and ask them who does that sort of thing and how you would become one. They actually make good money. Oh...also...people who sit for the elderly or alzheimers patients overnight make good money. I have a friend who does that along with her day job. She just sleeps at this womans house over night.
  16. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    They have openings listed for those here but they are requiring a degree in SW or field like that AND experience doing it- I have neither. (I already looked. LOL!)
  17. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I think maybe since so many people are looking for jobs, the places that normally would take any decent person are asking for more quals and experience in that area than they normally would. I've seen menial jobs listed that are asking for specific training and experience.
  18. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    How bout working as a caseworker for DSS...pays reasonable and does not require a degree in SW unless its working in CPS or APS. If you just do welfare or food stamps or medicaid...all you need is some college.
  19. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'd do that if they let me- with difficult child's issues. How do I find out if there are any openings?
  20. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yeah...I tried to go work for the county above me as a caseworker because my county will NOT rehire me but I couldnt even get my foot in the door at the place because they only hire through a temp agency which made me take tests on typing, word, and excel. I have never been trained on Never taken any classes since 1988 in computer programming and trust me, WORD or Excel wasnt around back then. I was flunking typing so I dropped it. I think I took an extra math class. I have trained myself on the desktop. Good lord...desktops were unheard of back then. I still cant do excel with any competence. Ive tried. Im ok with word but I am not a secretary. I never saw one need for me to have to know excel or word to do my job as a I worked for DSS for 7 years...I managed just fine without them.