People at work are saying I look sad

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Californiablonde, Sep 13, 2012.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    So my coworker/supervisor pulled me aside today and asked me if everything was alright. According to her, several people have come up to her and told her I look sad. I am shocked. Yes, I feel a little down and moody, but I try my hardest to hide it from everyone at work. Once I get to work I'm super professional and I do my best to keep my personal life at home where it belongs. I also feel my best at work. It's when I get home that I crumble. I really do love my job and I would hate to do anything to jeopardize it. I can't believe people can sense my depression. I think I will call psychiatrist and see if I can get in sooner than next month. Even if I have to take time off work to do it, I think it would be best. Also, I've been lagging on looking for a new therapist. My last one was so darn good and I was really bummed when he moved away. I have had such bad luck with therapists (mostly female) that I have been reluctant to search for another. Plus I've been lazy. I think it's time to get therapy before I get too far into this and it's too late. I absolutely CANNOT go to another mental hospital. My kids' dad told me that if I'm admitted even one more time, he is going to go to court and take away both kids permanently. I cannot let that happen. I may have my mental disabilities but I am by far the better parent. Time to get myself the help that I deserve.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Good for you!! I am sorry it took people at work to point it out before you realized how bad it was. People don't always see what we want them to see no matter how hard we try. They're not psychic, you just aren't as good at hiding it as you thought you were. I am SUPER happy you are going to start taking care of yourself. In my case, there is no one to take care of my kids if I go under. In your case, the situation is almost worse. Do what you have to for YOU!!!!

  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Well, the one great thing that came out of that was that you're going to get the help you need. Good for you! I hope you're able to get in sooner. Hugs
  4. Star*

    Star* call 911

    I tried (looses count on fingers) so many therapists before I found the one that I clicked with====and it only took about a month of meetings to say "I'm not for you, no offense, but I need what works for me. You have what works for you- mentally depressed people with checks paid to you.....I need what works for me....someone that I feel is GENUINELY interested in helpoing me save my life. Because after all - if you don't have good mental health? You really need to work towards a goal that makes you AT LEAST feel better, or feel something/

    As far as work? Well I wish I could say "Oh aren't the people you work with so nice?" Truth is.....and it's just my opinion from working so many different jobs, with so many types of people.....While they SAY "OH so and so is sad." What they mean is - "She's a real bummer, or I am telling on 'Star" so that YOU notice she's sad which = lack of drive and job performance """"CAN I HAVE HER JOB SINCE SHE's going to leave?""""" The people that care about YOU Cali? Will ASK ......YOU not, tell your boss "Gosh she looks so sad, so down, is there something wrong?" Granted a day or two out of character may raise some eyebrows.......but I have yet to go to a manager and REPORT someone because I thought they were sad. So be careful about saying anything to anyone....about anything you work with. If someone is after your job? They just may be working an angle.

    If work is your energizer and you're not energized there? Then get the help you know you need, and dump the EEYORE routine at work. I know this is not what you are doing - but I've known a LOT of women that peeve other women off because they bring home to work....and are "SO SAD" I said the ones I've ever noticed that I cared about? I asked them directly - or just tried to do nice little things to cheer them-----I certainly didn't go to the boss and say HEY LOOK AT OLD BASSET EYES....Unless the rest of that statement was followed by - "CAN WE HAVE A MORALE party?" And cheer EVERYONE up. The reason being is the people that went to work and brought their problems with them? Really were NOT on top, being professional, doing their best no matter what they thought. And that equates to EVERYONE else including me....doing someone elses work because they aren't pulling their weight (see where I'm going with this?)

    I'm not talking about walking in everyday and being a little puky ray of sunshine. Just be careful. If they're noticing it? It's not to uplift you----it's to complain.

    Hang in there and find that man you like to talk to-----no big deal if you don't like women therapists - I didn't either. I don't trust women.....WHY would I want to spend money talking to one? I don't trust men either - but we cliqued a lot better for talking. IT's just a choice ----no rhyme or reason. So go find your good new therapist and tell Eeyore to go play in the 100 acre woods.

    Hugs & Love
  5. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Star, I agree with you whole heartedly. The people who told my supervisor I look sad were doing nothing but complaining. They were not doing it to help me whatsoever. I'm actually kind of ****** off that they went to her and said something. You're right, they should have come to me first. And to be honest, even though I'm feeling down in the dumps, I really have no idea what they're talking about when they say I look down. I'm still on top of my game as far as my job is concerned. I have a lot of work to do in the morning and I still kick *** at doing it while my supervisor goes shoe shopping online. I've always done more work around here and that hasn't stopped. I still carry on conversations with people. I make small talk even if I don't feel like it. I really don't get why they would report me as being sad. I still smile when I talk to people. I think I still act upbeat around here. I really don't know what it is that I can change to make it better. Anyway, wish me luck with the therapy. Had such bad luck in the past but hopefully I will find someone to click with right away. I'm financially broke and can't even afford it right now, but I am going to do it anyway. I don't have money to waste on bad therapists so I'm hoping I won't have to go through too many to find the right one.
  6. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Don't let them define you. If you're sad that's none of their business. A friend would do what they could to lighten your load, and apparently these folks aren't friends.

    Try to start your day with some humor. It only takes a few moments. Try "Joke of the Day". They're clean enough for the work environment, so they can't get you into trouble, and there are lots of categories, so you don't have to limit yourself to one.

    Most of all, DON'T read the CD board at work. It's too upsetting.
  7. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the links, Witzend. Very cool.
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911

    NOW ats what I"M talking about!!!!!!! --------ROFLMoompaloompa off. OMG that is HYSTERICAL!!!!!! and High five to what Witz said - DO NOT let them define you.

    Lord..........e. Who does that to a dog?