witzend
Well-Known Member
I was fine yesterday. Today I was all crabby again. For the past nine years I have been writing a letter to my most gossipy lying sister, W, and not sending it. This morning I got up and I was just ticked off that she had told L that I had shoved my mom around (not even true) and that I always make a scene, and that's why I'm not welcome at the family table for holidays. It's occurred to me that she did it because she wanted to be sure that L never asked for me to be included in anything again. Witch.
I'm the first one to admit that I am blunt. I'm not spiteful. And honestly, when someone is mean to me, particularly a family member, I get out as soon as I can, and go home to cry. I've never made a scene.
I wrote a short letter, and told her what she said was not true, she wasn't there, and she had no right to say that to my daughter. by the way, if she was so concerned, why not reach out to me about it?
I also told her that I never remembered making a scene, but I did remember the last Christmas we spent together when she unwrapped the gift I gave her, scowled, gave it to her adult daughter and said "I'm sick of getting all this cr@p I don't need for Christmas." I also reminded her of when she married her second husband (of 4) and I caught the bouquet. I was 22 years old and so excited, it had never happened before. She turned around and saw it was me that caught it and said "Oh, no! Forget that!" She got one of her bridesmaid's bouquets, and threw it so that her friend could catch it. I make unhappy scenes? I'm pretty sure not! There are other examples, but you get the gist.
I told her I wasn't sure whether she said these things to my kids and did these things to me because she is evil and has a need to make people feel smaller than her, or if she was just plain too stupid to know how to act nice. I suggested she try some self-examination and therapy, and that I hoped she would find a way to be happier. And I quote "Not that I give a rat's *** about your happiness, but all you do is spread hatred and you need to feel good enough about yourself to leave my kids alone." I suggested she consider how she might feel if I outed her lesbian daughter to our parents, and how pitiful it was that she was so ashamed of her daughter that she lies about who and what she is.
I capped it off by telling her that she didn't have to worry about me ever coming to dinner where she would be, because I'd starve before I'd eat with her. I mailed it to her. And to top it off, I sent a copy to her ex-husband and wrote a little note at the bottom. "J~ I get it that you aren't married to W anymore and that she has always been out of control. She needs to know that if she ever talks like that to my kids again I can't guarantee that I won't do something to belittle her in her (his as well) children's eyes, or to cause a rift between her children and my parents." Witzend.
I suppose it won't help any. I hope it makes her miserable and angry. But things with my family couldn't get any worse. I mean, it has been nine years, and now their story as to why I'm not around is that I beat up my mom. I don't feel better, yet. But I don't feel worse, either.
Nine years that letter has been waiting to be properly written and sent. Telling my daughter I beat up Grandma was the icing on the cake. And she can't even show my parents, because if she does, she'll out her daughter herself. And she won't. I told you that the doctor gave me a cranky shot! (I sure hope it wears off soon...)
I'm the first one to admit that I am blunt. I'm not spiteful. And honestly, when someone is mean to me, particularly a family member, I get out as soon as I can, and go home to cry. I've never made a scene.
I wrote a short letter, and told her what she said was not true, she wasn't there, and she had no right to say that to my daughter. by the way, if she was so concerned, why not reach out to me about it?
I also told her that I never remembered making a scene, but I did remember the last Christmas we spent together when she unwrapped the gift I gave her, scowled, gave it to her adult daughter and said "I'm sick of getting all this cr@p I don't need for Christmas." I also reminded her of when she married her second husband (of 4) and I caught the bouquet. I was 22 years old and so excited, it had never happened before. She turned around and saw it was me that caught it and said "Oh, no! Forget that!" She got one of her bridesmaid's bouquets, and threw it so that her friend could catch it. I make unhappy scenes? I'm pretty sure not! There are other examples, but you get the gist.
I told her I wasn't sure whether she said these things to my kids and did these things to me because she is evil and has a need to make people feel smaller than her, or if she was just plain too stupid to know how to act nice. I suggested she try some self-examination and therapy, and that I hoped she would find a way to be happier. And I quote "Not that I give a rat's *** about your happiness, but all you do is spread hatred and you need to feel good enough about yourself to leave my kids alone." I suggested she consider how she might feel if I outed her lesbian daughter to our parents, and how pitiful it was that she was so ashamed of her daughter that she lies about who and what she is.
I capped it off by telling her that she didn't have to worry about me ever coming to dinner where she would be, because I'd starve before I'd eat with her. I mailed it to her. And to top it off, I sent a copy to her ex-husband and wrote a little note at the bottom. "J~ I get it that you aren't married to W anymore and that she has always been out of control. She needs to know that if she ever talks like that to my kids again I can't guarantee that I won't do something to belittle her in her (his as well) children's eyes, or to cause a rift between her children and my parents." Witzend.
I suppose it won't help any. I hope it makes her miserable and angry. But things with my family couldn't get any worse. I mean, it has been nine years, and now their story as to why I'm not around is that I beat up my mom. I don't feel better, yet. But I don't feel worse, either.
Nine years that letter has been waiting to be properly written and sent. Telling my daughter I beat up Grandma was the icing on the cake. And she can't even show my parents, because if she does, she'll out her daughter herself. And she won't. I told you that the doctor gave me a cranky shot! (I sure hope it wears off soon...)