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Personal support ~~ WWYD when you don't have any?
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 14784" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Hi Amy,</p><p></p><p>I just wanted to reply to your post, to let you know I have been there, and I know how hard it is, but I think you are doing the right thing by moving back home for more family and support. Obviously you are not getting it from your husband, and you absolutely need it to provide a successful environment for your kids.</p><p></p><p>I was in the same boat several years ago. My husband and I were married for a couple of years, and in that time my difficult child went from being slightly stable, to being hospitalized twice. My difficult child sensed from the beginning that my husband was not fully committed to him as a "son", and they pushed each other's buttons accordingly. My husband was critical, rude, and aloof to my difficult child, despite many sessions of counseling on how to help a child such as him. In the end my husband asked me to choose between my difficult child and him....and of course you know my answer. </p><p></p><p>It was a horrible position to be in, and a horrible question to be asked, but even more horrible was the negative effect this man's comments and pessisism had on my difficult child over those few years. I underestimated how this affected my difficult child until the husband left....and only then did I see the tears and pain that he had suffered from this man's constant negative input into his life. It has taken my difficult child some time to recover, and even with that, there is a permanent scar there. I regret every moment I stayed married to a man that did not believe and hope the way we as parents have to with children like ours.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there, and go with your gut.......it is so unbelievably hard in the beginning of a separation....but your child/children will benefit more than you can imagine from a postive and loving environment.......where love is unconditional....and kisses are given despite behavior.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 14784, member: 3301"] Hi Amy, I just wanted to reply to your post, to let you know I have been there, and I know how hard it is, but I think you are doing the right thing by moving back home for more family and support. Obviously you are not getting it from your husband, and you absolutely need it to provide a successful environment for your kids. I was in the same boat several years ago. My husband and I were married for a couple of years, and in that time my difficult child went from being slightly stable, to being hospitalized twice. My difficult child sensed from the beginning that my husband was not fully committed to him as a "son", and they pushed each other's buttons accordingly. My husband was critical, rude, and aloof to my difficult child, despite many sessions of counseling on how to help a child such as him. In the end my husband asked me to choose between my difficult child and him....and of course you know my answer. It was a horrible position to be in, and a horrible question to be asked, but even more horrible was the negative effect this man's comments and pessisism had on my difficult child over those few years. I underestimated how this affected my difficult child until the husband left....and only then did I see the tears and pain that he had suffered from this man's constant negative input into his life. It has taken my difficult child some time to recover, and even with that, there is a permanent scar there. I regret every moment I stayed married to a man that did not believe and hope the way we as parents have to with children like ours. Hang in there, and go with your gut.......it is so unbelievably hard in the beginning of a separation....but your child/children will benefit more than you can imagine from a postive and loving environment.......where love is unconditional....and kisses are given despite behavior. [/QUOTE]
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