Soooooooooo I'm taking back a battery (A frimpin 90 lb heavy duty van battery) last night.......at my FAV OH RIGHT store last night WAL mart......
And I was SURE (my def) that's DEAF fiance mis heard the auto guy when the auto guy said - I won't make your crippledazz I mean poor arthritic self come back with the core-battery again - so I won't charge you now......ahem (cough cough) but "SNATCHY MAN" ------thas short for IRRITABLE NON HEARING addled brained male person took the receipt and stuffed it into his wallet ------faster than a cheeta on a dead antelope in the dry season........and sends WHO BACK with the receipt????? and the BATTERY? YUH!
SO there I am - I go get a cart.......I go dig the nasty battery out of the back of the van, I LIFFFFFFFFFT it into the buggy......."""""""WHAM"""""""" and I PPPUUUUUUUUUSH it uphill (OMG) who makes a walmart parking lot with an uphill grade? DIMWIT ENGINEER? YYUUUUUUUUUUUUP. and I get to the GREATER........((((((((and mind you I'm not one to poke fun at intelligence))))))) but when there is ZERO --------HERES YOUR SIGN.....(STUCK ON STUPIT)
and I quote ------YOU have to take that to customer service." says the intelligent woman looking at what is OBVIOULSY a 4 year old, USED up TORN up battery - no where NEAR -------I MEAN NO WHERE NEAR.....a returnable item.....and points to CUSTOMER SERVICE. I state again - I NEED TO GO TO AUTOMOTIVE. She said NO CUSTOMER SERVICE (God love her - shes still smiling) and SO I TROD off to the line from Hades.
Well - As luck would have it - There were two people at the desk and WHY in the bluehell they call it SERVICE I have NO clue -------but in front of me is a "MOTHER" and I use that term loosely - and her friend. Tattoo Mary. In a Walmart outfit. You know what I mean. Illustrated for the faint of heart.......Her body is in it's late forties, early fifties, tattooed from head to toe......and she was in the three hundred plus pound range but her clothes were in the Hanna Montanna range. Her shorts were so short I was embarassed for her and her shirt was a white lacy peek a boo number that left nothing to the imaginaton. And she was buying a collapisable dog cage - or rather returing one that you could tell that a dog had OBVIOULSY clawed it's way out of -------it was very sad. Her friend had two children one was a little girl who was entertaining herslef loudly with flip flops screaming at the top of her lungs - going "I"M A PONY I"M A PONY IM A PONY" and the little boy needed a diaper change ------and screamed every time it's mother tried to sit it in it's own mess in the cart......(go figure) so she would allow him to run around bare footed in and out of the people in line yelling while she exasperated her air rolling her eyes as if she couldn't do anything with him. (changing his diaper would have been a start) And moving up so the entire customer service area wasn't her kids play ground was also a thought - but no - they stayed at the beginning of the entrance - to allow the kids a play place - and the line went out the entrance - and down the aisle - and people were frustrated......but hey ------not my pet peave - watching old clippity clop and listening to her rant and smellign old diaper bloomers was enough for me while I watched old Hanna Taaattoo tell lie after lie about how that $60 dog crate just fell apart when her dog sat in it --------(FOR REAL? )
So as the people stood behind me moaning and whining.......(REALLY ? SHUT UP) the Mother said to me........ISN"T SHE JUST ADORABLE??????? (about The daughter?) I said flatly......."NO NOT REALLY"......and old Tattoo turned to me and said like a wanna be biker chick ""SSSSSSSSCUSE ME??????" and I said to HER"THERE REALLY ISN"T ONE THAT I CAN SEE.......ILL BEHAVED CHILDREn ARE RARELY ADORABLE, AND IF YOU HAVE TO ASK YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER." .........and with that......? The lady behind me snickerd, I exhaled, the "MOTHER" finally called her HORSE for the first time and told "GET OVER HERE" and I said "OH that's Novel - we've been baby sitting your kids for twenty minutes and all of a sudden you decide to use your parenting skills? WHY DON"T YOU TRY CHANGING HIS DIAPER FOR AN ENCORE?" and the lady third in line said "GAWD I'll sencond that he smells awful - how can you let your kids walk around that long smelling like that?"
and with that the "CUSTMER service called NEXT IN LINE.........The fifty something cheecker peeker tattoo lady in bad need of a brazillian and a spanx and the the NOT mom" left with their FREE dog crate, miniature pony and smelly baby, and I stepped up to find that the deaf man in my life stuck me with the arduous task of pushing a 90 lb battery up hill in the rain only to find out that I was once again correct -------there was no core charge originally--------and had I only looked at the receipt? I could have saved my time, by breath and my wisdom. So many pet peeves wasted on the undeserving.......and so many bloody phone towerers in North Carolina that I would love to just have removed.......if only I had access to a metal chain saw, or an Iron Giant and no fear of federal prisons. and the area code is 803 I can't help it it bounces off of BFE towers.......and looks like 6 something........but twas I.
And that was only 20 minutes of my life - as it pertains to pet peeves......and not all of it I'm so sure......because she "not mom" was flipping her hair and twisting it around her fingers.....and fidgeting, and rocking her cart and picking her shorts, and telling everyone how she couldn't control a flip flop smacking 2 year old. If that horse had thrown a shoe............but then again.......assault with a flip flop is still assault...