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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 758132" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I think it is hard not to hope they will change. </p><p></p><p>I do think how anyone behaves is 200 percent on them. Kay treats us as if we never mattered. Now Lee is a bad person in my opinion but so is Kay. They could break up and both would be the same. Your daughter is your daughter and even if she breaks up with her boyfriend, she is who she is. He isn't causing it. She is. Kay is. I don't like Lee but I think Kay found him and stays because of who she is. I don't blame Lee for Kay. He is a symptom of her problems. </p><p></p><p>It is heartbreaking and hard when our child is not kind to us for the right reasons (like Kay was only ever nice to get favors). It hurts. Bad. We are puzzled. Hurt. We cry. We don't want to accept it. I understand you.</p><p></p><p>On top of that you, like me, lost wonderful son's. That never goes away. That alwaystugs at my heart. Yet I often feel as if Ethan is with me, cheering me up, talking to me. It helps.</p><p></p><p>In my deepest secret mind I have thought, with shame, "Why did Ethan have to leave? He was pure love. Now Kay..." Then I shut myself down. I love Kay too. But I do think this then I feel ashamed. I have spoken to my pastor and therapist about that sometimes feeling. I werp for days, or used to.</p><p></p><p>Please be kind to you. We can not use others for our own happiness. Happiness comes only from within. I have two normal kids besides Kay and I can't depend on them to fulfil me either. Rick has a girlfriend and is always with her and Amy has a new boyfriend, first since her divorce. We are lucky to have dinner together twice a month. We have to happy in our own skin.</p><p></p><p>Blessings and much love.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 758132, member: 23706"] I think it is hard not to hope they will change. I do think how anyone behaves is 200 percent on them. Kay treats us as if we never mattered. Now Lee is a bad person in my opinion but so is Kay. They could break up and both would be the same. Your daughter is your daughter and even if she breaks up with her boyfriend, she is who she is. He isn't causing it. She is. Kay is. I don't like Lee but I think Kay found him and stays because of who she is. I don't blame Lee for Kay. He is a symptom of her problems. It is heartbreaking and hard when our child is not kind to us for the right reasons (like Kay was only ever nice to get favors). It hurts. Bad. We are puzzled. Hurt. We cry. We don't want to accept it. I understand you. On top of that you, like me, lost wonderful son's. That never goes away. That alwaystugs at my heart. Yet I often feel as if Ethan is with me, cheering me up, talking to me. It helps. In my deepest secret mind I have thought, with shame, "Why did Ethan have to leave? He was pure love. Now Kay..." Then I shut myself down. I love Kay too. But I do think this then I feel ashamed. I have spoken to my pastor and therapist about that sometimes feeling. I werp for days, or used to. Please be kind to you. We can not use others for our own happiness. Happiness comes only from within. I have two normal kids besides Kay and I can't depend on them to fulfil me either. Rick has a girlfriend and is always with her and Amy has a new boyfriend, first since her divorce. We are lucky to have dinner together twice a month. We have to happy in our own skin. Blessings and much love. [/QUOTE]
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