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Phone Calls from 34yo starting up again
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<blockquote data-quote="SeekingStrength" data-source="post: 663641" data-attributes="member: 17635"><p>Thanks to each of you. husband and I appreciate the support.</p><p></p><p>While I do not want to sound like the employee sitting in the back row of the staff meeting, saying, <em>We tried that before. It does not work.....</em>well, I feel like that about the backpack idea. Although, I agree that it is a loving gesture.</p><p></p><p>When we left supplies on our porch before, Difficult Child smashed what he could and tore the rest of it up and scattered it all over the place. Quite the mess to clean up. Neither husband nor I are too anxious to go that route again. </p><p></p><p>We have talked about so many possible scenarios. We know ex girlfriend's family must be totally frustrated. We have never met them, but they seem to be a very close clan and may think husband and I are total jerks. and, that is OKAY, as long as they do not drive him down here.</p><p></p><p>Our town has one shelter and it has a long waiting list. The area Difficult Child resides in right now has several shelters. An ex colleague's son lived in one for over a year. She thought the folks who ran it was wonderful. And, that area has public transportation. There are more opportunities there, but reasoning things out is not Difficult Child's strong suit, especially when he is bound and determined to <em>win</em> at controlling another human.</p><p></p><p>Tonight has been quiet.</p><p>*************************************************</p><p>This has probably been shared before; i think I first ran across it somewhere here. It drives home the part about not dwelling on these happenings - something husband and I still tend to do - even years (and years and years) later.</p><p></p><p><strong><span style="color: #0000ff">A Harvard Professor of Psychology walked around a room full of students while teaching about stress management.</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #0000ff">To begin his lecture he grabbed a glass of water and raised it above his head as if he was going to propose a toast, and instantly everyone expected they’d be asked if the glass was half empty or half full as part of the lesson. Instead though, with a smile on his face, the professor asked "How heavy is this glass of water?”</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #0000ff">Students called out answers "6 ounces" and "10 ounces" but he shrugged them off.</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #0000ff">He replied, “The actual weight doesn’t matter. What really matters is how long I've been holding it. If I hold it for just a minute it feels very light. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a whole day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. Any longer than that and I will be very tempted to give up and drop it. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”</span></strong></p><p><strong><span style="color: #0000ff"></span></strong></p><p><span style="color: #000000">Thanks again. It shores us up. We do not second guess ourselves anymore; we feel confidant we are taking the route that will most likely prod Difficult Child to get help and help us survive. But, the blips that arise here and there certainly shake us.</span></p><p><span style="color: #000000"></span></p><p><span style="color: #000000">SS</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SeekingStrength, post: 663641, member: 17635"] Thanks to each of you. husband and I appreciate the support. While I do not want to sound like the employee sitting in the back row of the staff meeting, saying, [I]We tried that before. It does not work.....[/I]well, I feel like that about the backpack idea. Although, I agree that it is a loving gesture. When we left supplies on our porch before, Difficult Child smashed what he could and tore the rest of it up and scattered it all over the place. Quite the mess to clean up. Neither husband nor I are too anxious to go that route again. We have talked about so many possible scenarios. We know ex girlfriend's family must be totally frustrated. We have never met them, but they seem to be a very close clan and may think husband and I are total jerks. and, that is OKAY, as long as they do not drive him down here. Our town has one shelter and it has a long waiting list. The area Difficult Child resides in right now has several shelters. An ex colleague's son lived in one for over a year. She thought the folks who ran it was wonderful. And, that area has public transportation. There are more opportunities there, but reasoning things out is not Difficult Child's strong suit, especially when he is bound and determined to [I]win[/I] at controlling another human. Tonight has been quiet. ************************************************* This has probably been shared before; i think I first ran across it somewhere here. It drives home the part about not dwelling on these happenings - something husband and I still tend to do - even years (and years and years) later. [B][COLOR=#0000ff]A Harvard Professor of Psychology walked around a room full of students while teaching about stress management. To begin his lecture he grabbed a glass of water and raised it above his head as if he was going to propose a toast, and instantly everyone expected they’d be asked if the glass was half empty or half full as part of the lesson. Instead though, with a smile on his face, the professor asked "How heavy is this glass of water?” Students called out answers "6 ounces" and "10 ounces" but he shrugged them off. He replied, “The actual weight doesn’t matter. What really matters is how long I've been holding it. If I hold it for just a minute it feels very light. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a whole day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. Any longer than that and I will be very tempted to give up and drop it. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.” [/COLOR][/B] [COLOR=#000000]Thanks again. It shores us up. We do not second guess ourselves anymore; we feel confidant we are taking the route that will most likely prod Difficult Child to get help and help us survive. But, the blips that arise here and there certainly shake us. SS[/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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