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General Parenting
Physical Violence Prevails, Once, Again
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 57019" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>OK, it's wrong to kick people, but it sounds like he was reacting in panic. The staff shouldn't have tried to grab him, they should have either watched him from a safe distance and/or talked to him. </p><p></p><p>To try to modify this sort of behaviour, we need to get into his head to understand why he reacts this way. Then it's easier to prevent and re-teach more appropriate behaviours.</p><p></p><p>Someone on another thread commented that these camps are often run by kids who really don't have the training and understanding to 'get' a difficult child.</p><p></p><p>And another point from easy child 2/difficult child 2 - she has done a lot of 'carnie' work, entertaining kids at carnivals, street fairs etc. She used to dress as a clown in full white-face, with hearts and glittery stars on her face, with a rainbow wig. She was not much bigger than most of the kids she was entertaining, except when she was doing it on stilts. But for the last few years she has refused to wear her clown face because she says too many little children are scared by it. She might have some face-paint on, maybe a spray of flowers across her cheeks, but not white-face. She says she's getting much better interaction with the kids. I think she's right.</p><p></p><p>But it took her time and experience to work this out. She's amazingly good with kids of all ages but especially really little ones. The adults who hire her often ask for her to dress as a clown - she's lost work because she refuses. She will dress as a fairy or a pirate, but not a clown. Her last job, she dressed as a giraffe! But she wasn't working with little kids for that one.</p><p></p><p>So it's always important to remember - some kids can be spooked really easily by something intended in fun. The camp people should have known this, and it should be discussed with them in resolving any issues. I wouldn't punish him but I would make him apologise to the person he kicked, and make him work out with them a more appropriate way to cope next time.</p><p></p><p>Good luck with the doctor. </p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 57019, member: 1991"] OK, it's wrong to kick people, but it sounds like he was reacting in panic. The staff shouldn't have tried to grab him, they should have either watched him from a safe distance and/or talked to him. To try to modify this sort of behaviour, we need to get into his head to understand why he reacts this way. Then it's easier to prevent and re-teach more appropriate behaviours. Someone on another thread commented that these camps are often run by kids who really don't have the training and understanding to 'get' a difficult child. And another point from easy child 2/difficult child 2 - she has done a lot of 'carnie' work, entertaining kids at carnivals, street fairs etc. She used to dress as a clown in full white-face, with hearts and glittery stars on her face, with a rainbow wig. She was not much bigger than most of the kids she was entertaining, except when she was doing it on stilts. But for the last few years she has refused to wear her clown face because she says too many little children are scared by it. She might have some face-paint on, maybe a spray of flowers across her cheeks, but not white-face. She says she's getting much better interaction with the kids. I think she's right. But it took her time and experience to work this out. She's amazingly good with kids of all ages but especially really little ones. The adults who hire her often ask for her to dress as a clown - she's lost work because she refuses. She will dress as a fairy or a pirate, but not a clown. Her last job, she dressed as a giraffe! But she wasn't working with little kids for that one. So it's always important to remember - some kids can be spooked really easily by something intended in fun. The camp people should have known this, and it should be discussed with them in resolving any issues. I wouldn't punish him but I would make him apologise to the person he kicked, and make him work out with them a more appropriate way to cope next time. Good luck with the doctor. Marg [/QUOTE]
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