Shari
IsItFridayYet?
Hi Shari-
Has he been suspended for 10 days?
Today is day 10. Judging from incidents at the last IEP meeting, tho, they don't want a manifestation hearing.
If they see that Wee is getting frustrated....they stop doing what is frustrating him and alter the activity or assignment. And yes..he can do something else..such as taking a walk or going into the gym and throwing a few baskets...
Exactly. And expecting him to sit and cool off is bogus, to me. And exactly why he needs 1 person with him instead of popping in and out all day long. If Malory comes after him 4 times in the morning before I leave, no one else knows that... and if someone tells him he's stupid on the playground, and then he doesn't get picked for a game in gym, and then explodes, its not til after the fact that everyone knows the whole story of what happened thru the day leading up to it...
That morning schedule is ridiculous! Way too many transitions for wee. I am shocked at all his moving around, changing teachers, handing off to paras, and the fact that you have to go in. He should be met at the front door by his para, period! You should not have to transition him into the day - that would be the job of the para. The para should not be pulled when wee is in Occupational Therapist (OT) or Special Education - the para should be there with wee the entire day. That way you have someone consistant who knows, from one minute to the next, what wee has been through or might be feeling.
My thoughts exactly. But, again, they "can't" assign him one para all day long, becuase when that para isn't needed, she is "wasting her time" staing with Wee...and the am para does bus duty at another building, so she doesn't arrive til 8:10 or so...
So have you seen as many meltdowns in the Special Education room or Occupational Therapist (OT) as you have seen in the eary morning, recess time, when he's mainstreamed?
No. If he makes it to specials, we rarely have problems after that.
If wee needs total resource with the exception of specials, so be it. If they can't provide these services at his current school, then an another school within the district will be the plan.
I agree. School does not because they "can't provide it, they don't have staff" (same excuse for para). Ps - most para's have no training. They aren't included in the IEP nor have they ever seen the thing. Or the full BIP.
You know Shari, this is really, really sad to me. I've followed wee's situation for a few months now and the Valentines really got me. He's not able to experience the stuff a typical kid can, although I think he is totally able to, just not being given the services and supports he needs to succeed.
It makes me sad that he worked on his Valentines and can't be there to put them in his classmates bags......I went through this with difficult child too. He would be excited about something happening at school that was out of the normal 3Rs - then BOOM, meltdown or rage, removal or suspension. It's no way for a young one to get what they need to move forward.
Realizing his motor planning problems on MOnday and this have been a huge blow to me this week, too. I rarely cry. I have all week this week.
You may also want to go on the school districts website and look up all the elememtary schools in your district. Go to their respective websites and look into the Special Education services. They will have staff listed and such. difficult child may need to attend a school that has resource all day.
This is the only school in district. And SpEd Teacher is the autism consultant for the entire district, so she's required in all buildings.
From an outside observer's perspective, it seems that Wee has very, very little wiggle room for being able to hold it together: a particular student in his class makes him mad, you keeping him home because sped teacher is gone and he can't cope, mainstream staff is gone and he can't cope, no one chooses him in gym class so he loses it/runs out/hits principal, staff isn't handling him like you would at home to keep him from becoming agitated, teacher corrects him in the lunch line and he overreacts, busy principal who is responsible for running the entire school invades his personal space to keep him safe and from destroying property and Wee loses it…etc…etc…etc. Shari, I know from a parent's perspective how desperately you want everyone who comes into contact with him to be able to handle him, and how much you hope that what he encounters at school won't trip the trigger so that he can mature. But I agree with Sharon that expecting all of those who deal with Wee to constantly run interference for him and to respond in the exact right way not to tick him off isn't going to happen—to some degree, yes, it's reasonable, but it's an elementary school, not a highly controlled therapeutic setting and they are in no way equipped for the extremes. I have to wonder if continuing to send him to a school that isn't equipped staff-wise or environment-wise to provide the higher level of supports that he seems to need in order to remain stable and able to participate in school is really in his best interest. It doesn't seem fair to Wee to continue to send him back day after day to a setting where he's experienced so little sustained success in holding it together, and that likely doesn't have the resources to deal with his needs.
Actually, Wee works really hard TO hold it together, and it is only when things pile up that he loses it. He was doing GREAT til we threw massive schedule changes at him back in November. Even handling Malory, who was actively targeting him daily. The schedule changes were the straw that broke the camel's back, so to speak, And its never been "normal" since.
And I don't think they've done all they can do. It was recommended right off the bat that he have a 1:1 with him all day. That has never been provided...he's got someone responsible for watching him at all times, but its not one person. Even tho there's now "only 2 paras", he flits in and out between 9 different "over-seers" each day. How are they to know where Wee's at to be able to help him?
I agree its not fair to keep sending him. Its the only school in the district and they are requred by law to educate him. Its a catch 22.
I want to send him, say "see you at 3" and turn off the phone. Make them deal with him and figure it out...either get the staff in place to deal, or decide to send him somewhere else. But, remember, this is the school who's idea of "dealing with him" for the entire last semester last year was to stick him in a 6x10 concrete supply closet 3 or 4 times a day....so, what does it continue to do to Wee to allow that to happen more?
I will gladly move if someone cal tell me where to go that CAN do what he needs. I'll quit my job and move and work at a gas station. I don't care.
Personally I think that the principal did exactly the right thing in that situation. He had a student with a long history of being explosive and impulsive who was in his office banging a chair hard against the window. If he hadn't removed the chair immediately and Wee had instead broken through that window then he likely would have been faced with major safety and liability issues instead. In that situation I'm not going to stop and think what might happen if I invade this student's personal space. I'd act.
Wee wasn't hitting anything with a chair. He was sitting in a chair banging his head and fists on the wall and the window beside the chair. Had he been using a chair, yes, I would agree with you. He wasn't. If they are truly concerned a 7 year old can put his fist thru the tempered glass of the brand new school building, well...that's another issue...but I don't think its unreasonable to expect this principal, who has willingly offered to attempt to be a "safe place" for Wee, to at least offer an alternative activity before going directly to physical, which everyone KNOWS how that will end.
A regular elementary school needs to provide a reasonable amount of services, but the truth is they can only do so much for one student.
I agree.
When I read back to your post of 1/31:
[URL]http://www.conductdisorders.com/forum/showthread.php?t=31609[/URL]
He has since returned to "normal"...that was a week from hel*, not typical with him.
If you've done what you reasonably can as a parent in terms of not leaving any stone unturned assessment-wise, therapy and medications,
I'm sure there's more I can do, but I don't know what it is or how to pay for it.
and if they've done what they reasonably can under their roof,
Have they? With no true full-time para assigned? And a BIP that's routinely not followed (first action when Wee gets agitated is offer alternative activity....anyone see an alternative activity besides sitting in a chair? He went to the principal's office becuase the principal wants to be that go-to person. Great. But that would mean I'd expect him to follow what's outlined in the plan.) The SpEd teacher routinely gets upset wth others who should KNOW the plan not following it. Worksheets and writing tasks were to be removed from his curriculum per the speech language pathologist who diagnosed his dyslexia - asking him to do things he's not yet capable of doiing adds to his frustration - yet he brings home worksheets about every night. They played a SPELLING game in gym...with a dyslexic ED kid with a history of explosiveness who has preK academic skills...
But the SpEd teacher thinks they've just made amazing progress this year, since he didn't have problems til December...
I don't expect them to be perfect...but I do expect them to realize "you know, that was a bad idea..." and not just punish Wee for it by further removing him from school. Where's the adults' accountability here??
then it's time to look beyond his current building to a more therapeutic setting where his needs can be met. The longer this cycle of Wee having extremely low tolerance and impulse control and the school having to send him home, the worse it is for him in terms of short and long-term stability. As Fran says, if you keep doing what you're doing, then you'll keep getting what you're getting.
Agreed. But aside from moving him to yet another school and taking yet another crapshoot as to whether or not they'll be able to deal with him...what do I do?
Shari, knowing that this has been a repeating cycle, and having been a teacher myself, I'm going to venture an educated guess here that the school staff already knows darn well that they can't provide what Wee needs under their roof, and that their hands are tied because if the staff formally recommends anything else in the way of services then they are responsible for funding it. If they're sending Wee home because he can't be handled at school then they aren't fulfilling their role in providing him an appropriate education and they are handing you the legal leverage you need to push for an alternative setting.
This is where I'm at, too. I'm not sure how to proceed, but I think the days of friendly team-work are over. Because once you bring in the word "law" and "lawyer", its been my experience that tensions rise...
On the home side of things, how long has it been since his medications have been revisited?
He is due for a draw, but I am in contact with his DevPed monthly, at least, and we tweak based on behaviors because we've finally learned that his "therapeutic levels" are not the norm. We reduced Depakote in the fall, and have increased it again about 3 weeks ago.
Other than the one realy bad week at home, tho, he's entirely manageable. The 2nd opinion doctor in OK and the speech pathologist who did a full day of dyslexia testing on him last fall both just don't see why the school has any trouble with him at all...he has to be "managed", but he is "manageable".
I have tried all I know to try. I have told them what I think he needs and he gets pieces of it, but its obviously not enough. He feels like a complete failure and they just keep reinforcing that. I am absolutely at wit's end, and ready to scream. I fully expect them to not call the manifestation hearing, even tho today is day 10. But once I get my bearings a bit, I plan to. I just don't know what more to ask for from them...principal wants to help, but he doesn't see the consequences of his actions, and if you only interact with Wee once a week, when he's already off, how's he ever going to figure that out? I think he's not a good player to be the additional safe person. He's got too many other things to worry about.
I'm rambling. I'll shut up now.
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