He's 20 now, Steely. Hasn't been on medications since before he left TLP. Does struggle with depression sometimes but my hope that years of therapy would teach him something seems to have been right on. He's actually pretty proactive about self-care, surprisingly.
What I don't see is his old anger and off-the-wall impulsivity. It's gone. I suspect living on the streets, running with- the crowd he was running with, he had to learn self-control. Some really hard lessons learned, I think.
The TLP didn't have levels, but they were "client-driven", meaning the kids had to initiate everything and ask for help - job apps, college apps, heck, even going to school. thank you at 16, 17, 18 just wasn't driven to do anything to help himself, so he also walked out of there with zero skills. I don't know about enabling... maybe we are. I know the PE'ers were pretty adamantly against him coming home a couple months ago (and maybe they were right - time will tell). I held off for a while longer but it was just something that was in my gut, that it was time to reach out and see if he would accept help and guidance. I can say that never in his life has he been this willing to listen to advice, and with minimal assistance, he's following thru on stuff.
Suz, regardless of how this plays out, I will not be disappointed. I had to follow my gut, and he will do what he will. I'm just savoring having my family together again, and having it be peaceful for the first time in forever.
I had to chuckle today. Diva is just being a royal pain with- her typical teen-plus attitude lately. After all of thank you's hard work on the bookcase, she pitched an ungrateful, uncalled for, beyond-bratty hissy fit that her things had been moved when we'd tried to find a clear space on the floor in her room for it (though how on earth she could tell anything in that disaster area had been moved is beyond me). She completely went off on him. I was working so didn't hear the whole thing, but did hear him tell her that she needed to back off and get it under control - he'd help her move the bookcase in when she had lost the attitude and had a place to put it. Calm, cool big brother. I was so proud of him.
And my kitchen is sparkling (*sparkling*!!!) and the living room is perfect. He even vacuumed under the cushions. I paid him and he was very appreciative (though I don't think nearly as appreciative as I am, LOL).
