Plans today... here's hoping... Horse back riding!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Dec 21, 2011.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Quin's horse back riding therapist has offered for him to go Christmas Caroling on horseback. She has arranged for volunteers and I have an Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker coming. He hasn't been for a while but they are really so good with him, they know he may swear or get too excited but they still accept him and I can take a step back. We are going to ride to a group home nearby and the people there are daughter. I have already prepared Q for that. I have a typed out list of what we will do with no firm schedule, just so he knows there will be a camp fire, we bring the hot chocolate, there will be singing but he does not have to sing. (but he can't do his made up noise to ruin songs....he has a hard time following music, did you know that is a right temporal lobe thing??? lol) he likes music though and he loves the people who he will see.

    I really hope it goes well. I had received a call from school about his blurting and having to leave the room again. But he went and when they called they said they would give it 15 minutes and I didn't hear, then I called to check and they said he had calmed so they wante dhim to stay. I am so glad because I hardly think I could have calmed him to go do this if that owuld have happened.

    I went to toys for tots and did my volunteer time and wow was that fun! The lady runs a charity for pregnant moms who have no one to mentor them and connect them with services. AFter talking to me she said she wants this to be her full time gig eventually and was wondering if I would work with her. Of course! I loved her spirit and mission and she said it would be totally flexible depending on Q's needs so no biggie. It is not immediate but she is building it up so I said I would like to volunteer a couple of times a month until then.

    WHo knows? It could happen.

    Q just told me there is a little snow coming down. Oh great, our first snow will hit tonight when I am an hour away! No, I think there is no storm predicted, I hope it is just nice snow for caroling.
  2. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    It's just a fluffy snow and not supposed to accumulate. It should be fine for caroling. How wonderful they want Q to go with them. That is awesome. I just hope he can handle listening to the people sing. LOL I know he will enjoy everything else and I am pretzeling & praying it doesn't have to end early for him.
  3. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Oh wow- what fun! I wanna go, too!

    You're a wonderful Mom and he's a very lucky boy in a lot of ways!

    Keeping fingers crosssed that this turns out well for everyone and that he has a good time that he'll remember forever!

    But I'm still pushing for you to take care of YOU!
  4. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    Hope you have a wonderful time. Those will be great memories to cherish.
    Positive posts don't get as much attention but I love reading them.
  5. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Christmas caroling on horses!!! Really? What FUN!

    I wish we could have driven up to MN to join in :) That will be so great for you and Q :)
  6. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    sounds like a good time! Crossing everything that Quinn has a blast with littleto no turmoil
  7. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    Ooooohhhhh Buuuudddddyyyyyy....How did it go last night? Is no news is good news or was it so bad you just can't even talk about it?!? LOL
  8. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Getting there was AWFUL. I was so tempted to call it off, but I know him and that we would do nothing if I did that. And of course having two adults in the car meant one of his biggest triggers happened, two adults talking around him... I wish he could just handle that but it has been a trigger for many many years.

    We did try not to talk much though. ONce there he was a really HAPPY kid. The girls were so happy to see him. HE didn't get to ride his favorite horse because another girl who loves him got there first and he accepted it totally! He rode the other horse he loves. That snow??? it was just enough to make the horses slip when we walked along the streets to the trail! darn. so we got to the group home where we sang and had to go up thru a few trees/bushes and the branches kind of snapped on us... Q got off his horse first. Then while there he suddenly flipped... he went after me and started swearing in front of everyone... I said, HEY, what is this all about and was pulling out my phone in case I had to actually call for help..he said, mom I dont want to ride back, I got scared when the horse slipped, I said well you know you can walk or get on whenever you want. V always lets you do that... he said, if I want to go back on I can? And if I want to stay off I can? i said yes and he came over and hugged me and said, sorry can I please start over? I really want to have hot chocolate and be at the fire. I said, well not one more mean word, they are having a nice party here... (later I found out that he realized this was a group home and his doctor had asked him long ago when he was not calming in the psychiatric hospital, do you really want to have to live in a group home or something??? and Q got could have been both things). He said, well, how about you go stand by those horses then I wont think of words to say to you, please go over there I did and he was fine. we walked back, we roasted marshmellows, drank hot c. and put the horses away. He was super on the way home for half the ride then just suddenly started swearing and making high pitched noises. then demands of which way I had to drive etc. I realized it was past evening medication time and his day medications were off.... Gave him medications and 25 minutes later, back to normal.

    I would call it a success, hours of fun and just transition yuck as usual. One outburst while there and he totally turned it around all happened with in 5 minutes. Would be nice not to have such things.
  9. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    :bravo:I am VERY proud of him for being able to put his real concerns into words for you rather quickly, even with the outburst first. To me, THAT is progress. You handled it very well and I am proud of you too. You both did awesome. Maybe as time goes by (and more reinforcing) he will be able to handle the "fear" without having the outburst first. That is the goal after all.

    Glad it was a good evening. Give him a hug for me and here's one for you:hugs:
  10. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Glad you had a largely good day, both of you. And maybe largely good counts for a lot in our world :)
  11. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    It stinks that he had a minor meltdown, but how great is it that he was able to tell you what was really bothering him. Transition is hard on even the best of difficult child's. I hope the rest of the weekend is good.
  12. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Thanks guys. I am hoping so... I have been working on getting his catapres patches renewed and because we do "as written" we go throug prior authorizations often so I call early.. due to hospital I even had an extra set of patches, and even with that.... there are no patches yet, first no need to do it because we had refills, then yes we do becasue it is as written (well they have been that way for over a year so what the heck now?) then we will try blah blah. IF these ones fall off before they come in we are on the way to the hospital I guess. It so stinks that paperwork can jeapordize a person's life like that.

    Other than that, I guess my only concern is that he will blow up at papa's or at aunties on christmas. I am hoping not. they wanted to play a game to have the kids pick presents and I vetoed it this time. we did that two years ago and Q did the best he could but honeslty, two of the other kids ended up crying and this year I doubt very much Q would handle it. Just give them their presents and stick to the routine familiar way of doing things.

    Thanks for checking in, it really was a fun night overall.
  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    WOW! Great communication: if I want to go back on I can? And if I want to stay off I can? i said yes and he came over and hugged me and said, sorry can I please start over? I really want to have hot chocolate and be at the fire. I said, well not one more mean word, they are having a nice party here...
  14. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Thanks, It feels like I fly by the seat of my pants sometimes, but really we dont do we.... we know what to say when we need to.