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Please Advise-before my son gets home!
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<blockquote data-quote="jbrain" data-source="post: 32005" data-attributes="member: 3450"><p>Hi there,</p><p>I sort of think you have your son blocked into a corner--he is kind of like an animal in a trap who is gnawing his leg off to get out. I relate to this because this is what happened with our difficult child 1 when she was around your son's age.</p><p></p><p>Going on the advice of her therapist at that time we managed to get into some major power struggles with her. We took away every privilege and her possessions and all it did was cause her to run away. When we found her we brought her home (from ER--had psychiatric evaluation but was not admitted) and her psychiatrist said to just let her rest, watch some tv, etc. She was so relieved to just be able to try to regroup--she did not understand anything about the taking away all her stuff--her viewpoint was that we hated her. </p><p></p><p>During this period of time I had a lot of anger towards her because of her behaviors and the way she talked to me, etc. She had a terrible therapist who didn't have a clue how to handle our family's situation. I'm not sure exactly what I would do differently if I could do it all over again but I would definitely not get drawn into these power struggles because I could never win and it just set up a lot of animosity between us.</p><p></p><p>I personally don't see anything unusual in your son wanting to listen to rap music (my dtr had lots of Eminem and I listened to it and absolutely hated it and told her my opinion of it). Also, my easy child son who is 23 now used to listen to lots of rap--I don't think he cares much for it now. I think a power struggle over the music is a no-win situation.</p><p></p><p>Okay, there is my 2 cents, sorry you are in this position, hope some of our thoughts have helped in some way, keep posting!</p><p></p><p>Take care,</p><p>Jane</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="jbrain, post: 32005, member: 3450"] Hi there, I sort of think you have your son blocked into a corner--he is kind of like an animal in a trap who is gnawing his leg off to get out. I relate to this because this is what happened with our difficult child 1 when she was around your son's age. Going on the advice of her therapist at that time we managed to get into some major power struggles with her. We took away every privilege and her possessions and all it did was cause her to run away. When we found her we brought her home (from ER--had psychiatric evaluation but was not admitted) and her psychiatrist said to just let her rest, watch some tv, etc. She was so relieved to just be able to try to regroup--she did not understand anything about the taking away all her stuff--her viewpoint was that we hated her. During this period of time I had a lot of anger towards her because of her behaviors and the way she talked to me, etc. She had a terrible therapist who didn't have a clue how to handle our family's situation. I'm not sure exactly what I would do differently if I could do it all over again but I would definitely not get drawn into these power struggles because I could never win and it just set up a lot of animosity between us. I personally don't see anything unusual in your son wanting to listen to rap music (my dtr had lots of Eminem and I listened to it and absolutely hated it and told her my opinion of it). Also, my easy child son who is 23 now used to listen to lots of rap--I don't think he cares much for it now. I think a power struggle over the music is a no-win situation. Okay, there is my 2 cents, sorry you are in this position, hope some of our thoughts have helped in some way, keep posting! Take care, Jane [/QUOTE]
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