hi new friends, I posted for the first time last week (reposted it below) and only got a couple replies. I thank you 2 for replying. Our 10 year old son is stealing and lying. This has been confirmed. He keeps finding $, I keep finding stuff that I've never seen before and ask him where he has gotten it. (he makes up stuff - "mom" (in totally annoyed voice) - "I've had this for a long time", etc. We must work through this issue now, so it will hopefully not continue. How do you approach your kid about this issue? Ours denies it and acts exasperated with me. He is now stealing from people other than us. He hasn't been diagnosed with-anything yet, but seems to have ODD and CD. (& has huge fits of rage). Any advice? What's the right way to go about confronting this and dealing with it? What's the wrong way? How can he make restitution for what he has stolen? Help! thank you! Hi new friends, I can't tonight tell you all that my husband and I have been through with our son, who is now 10 years old. (difficult child - why the heck is that the abbreviation?) It's been a rough road since he came into our home at age 3. (he is adopted) Mostly a lot of rage (scary at times) and continual defiance. It's by far the hugest and most discouraging challenge I've ever had in my life. The latest is stealing and lying. This breaks my heart and makes me so, so angry. I keep finding things that I KNOW aren't his and he gets all exasperated with me each time I confront him. I know he must be stealing. It doesn't seem like he believes he is stealing...it's like he thinks this stuff really belongs to him, but there has been way too many times this has happened (esp lately). How does one handle this? He just denies it and gets mad at me. I feel so helpless. How do you deal with something like this that the person only denies? Another thing - parenting has been so difficult for me that I feel so distant from him at times. (ok, much of the time) (adoptive mothers can be the target of extreme rage) I was so upset at him this evening (for how he treats me, for his lying, his stealing, his defiance) that honestly, I didn't even want to hear the sound of his voice. I don't want to be around him. This is tough! It's good to know that others go through similar struggles (though I feel for you!) and some even worse. How do you survive??? Any help for how to deal with the thievery? -Thank you in advance.