Please Help Me Figure This One Out...?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by DaisyFace, Mar 25, 2013.

  1. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    OK - here goes:

    difficult child had Friday off from school last week. She announced that she was going for a "sleepover" at L's house Thursday night and she wouldn't be back until Friday evening.

    I told her "no" - but I would be happy to take her to L's house any time on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday so they could hang out.

    Well, difficult child got angry....that was no good!

    Next thing I heard, L wasn't available to get together aaallll weekend (even though supposedly they had originally planned to hang out all day Friday after their "sleepover"). Nope - L was busy. difficult child was going to the mall with B and E instead.

    Oh - Ok. That sounds fine...

    Then difficult child explains that even though B was picking her up - difficult child would probably end up walking a few miles home.

    ???? Um....what? The friend that is driving you to the mall can only bring you halfway home??? That doesn't make any sense...

    And then, suddenly, B wasn't available either. But no worries - E can probably drive difficult child to the mall AND home again. Nope - wait....E can't do it either. Oh but good news! difficult child asked a person she just met, R, and R is willing to drive difficult child to the mall and all the way back home.....that is if R's parents will let R use their truck. Oh - nope....the parents are uncomfortable with R driving a person she barely knows.


    So - what does all this sound like to you?

    My impression is that difficult child had some kind of a scheme worked up where she told her parents she was going to the mall - but instead arranged for a friend to drive her to a different location and just drop her off. Whatever it was - it was something that the friend was not interested in / or perhaps not invited to. The friend couldn't give her a ride home 'from the mall' because the friend would have had to go back to the alternate location and pick difficult child up and then drive her home. Pain in the butt for the friend - and suspicious enough that another parent said "no" to their child being involved.

    What do you think?

    Am I on to something - or just being paranoid?
  2. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    As in - of course you're paranoid.
    But it doesn't mean your gut is wrong.
  3. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    LOL! Thanks, Insane!
  4. TeDo

    TeDo CD Hall of Fame

    That sounds like scenarios difficult child 1 has played out. HE has ideas about what will happen BEFORE he even asks the other person(s) involved. In the meantime, he has all the details worked out...only to have them fall through because the other person can't but instead of coming apart, he "revises" his plan to try to fit what options he thinks are still available. The revising continues until something works out.

    I don't know that I would be convinced there is a "scheme" but yes, I would not dismiss the possibility completely either. Keep eyes and ears open at ALL times. Teen years hoover...
  5. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Hmmm...I hadn't thought about that, but you may be on to something there!

    difficult child does tend to "plan" without actually knowing any information or confirming any of the details...
  6. Bunny

    Bunny Active Member

    Hmmmmm..... My first thought ran towards some kind of scheme where she tells you that she's going to the mall, but was really planning on going somewhere she was not supposed to be, but TeDo's idea seems pretty plausible, too. My difficult child does that. Makes these plans in his head before ever speaking to anyone about them.
  7. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    She's going to meet up with a boy. Absolutely no doubt in my mind.
  8. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I agree with Tiredmommy, somewhere out there is a boy awaiting the company of your difficult child...........
  9. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    "Could" just be an example of difficult child wanting to "have plans" like her peers and just not being able to pull it off. I've been there done that.
    on the other hand, due to her age etc. I would guess it is "a boy" or "a party" that she knows would not meet with approval.. Geez, those years are so rough. Good luck. DDD
  10. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    This is typical teen maginified to the Nth degree! They love to make plans, either in their heads or with-one friend, and then another friend gets involved, or they give up on calling the other friend altogether because they heard through the grapevine that they were busy ... I cannot tell you how many times difficult child has gotten me to drive him somewhere and then the plans changed. I quit driving him anywhere until I speak with-the parents. That makes it easier all the way around.
    He raged for a day or so and now he understands.

    I'm sorry ... I wish I had better advice or ideas. It could be half baked with-friends or all in her head. Either way, it doesn't sound like she's going anywhere right now. :)
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    At her age, this is boy related or there is or was a party being talked about on some form of social media. Considering things didnt seem to pan out for difficult child, maybe she couldnt manage to snag an invite. You could do a YouTube search for your area/HS and that weekend to see if any videos were posted. It seems the kids these days post everything.
  12. It definitely could be boy related..... but doesn't your difficult child have a tendency to make up grand stories in her head that aren't the least bit true but she completely believes them? I'm wondering if there was some vague talk of a sleepover or a trip to the mall and difficult child has imagined that in to full blown plans.

    Either way you need to be cautious and aware that difficult child is either not making plans responsibly or she is out and out lying.
  13. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Just because of the things you've said I thought of the boy scenario too.

  14. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    She is a teenage girl difficult child. Of course there is a boy involved. whether it is a boy who likes her or wants to go somewhere with her, is another question. Given the grandiose plans, and the various people backing out, I would bet she was trying to arrange something with-o actually asking the others involved if they are able and willing to participate. Because in gfgworld, everyone is just waiting around to see what they are needed/wanted for in your life. Others don't have actual lives that don't involve you. then when you let them in on plans, and they are not able/willing/dumb enough to go along, then you revise. And keep on with it until something happens. Cause of course it is an evil parent plot that you created by conspiring with other parents to ruin her life.

    I have often wondered if Wiz and other difficult children truly realize that other people exist even when you cannot see them and/or they are not doing something with you/for you? I am not always convinced they truly realize this. Largely because of course the other people will do what they are assigned to do in the difficult child plan. it isn't like they do anything when difficult child isn't there, Know what I mean??
  15. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Thanks, everyone! I'm glad to hear it's not just me being paranoid!

    Yes - I do think it is probably a boy....and one we would have an issue with at that!

    The part of difficult child's stories that keeps me off-kilter is the "I'll be walking home" part. I can think of no scenario in which a group of girls from the same school, all get into one car, drive ten miles to the nearest shopping mall, spend all afternoon walking, talking, shopping, etc, then all get back into the car to head back home.....but just can't drive difficult child all the way back.