Sorry this is long. My DS was trouble the day he was born. If he was awake, he was screaming. He had GI issues, milk protein allergy, severe reflux, a couple of surgeries (pyloric stenosis), and lots of medication. Even after all the above problems were dealt with he never stopped screaming. At three months when the "colic" was supposed to end, he kept screaming. When he turned one, the screaming turned into other difficult behaviors. He would act like a child would in the "terrible twos"....except he was only 15 months. He would melt down constantly, bang his head (out of anger, not to self soothe), smash his face into the floor (even outside in the driveway), hit himself, and hit himself with objects. He was in early intervention for a speech delay but it was really to help me deal with him. He had a developmental specialist, a speech pathologist, and a social worker visit every week and all we would do is talk about his behavior. Communication wasn't the issue though, his signing vocabulary was extensive. When you would say "no" to him he would go nuts. I couldn't go anywhere with him (food shopping, etc) at all. Just getting him into a car seat was a wrestling match. Then the most amazing thing happened. As soon as he turned 2, it all stopped. It was like the clouds parted and my miserable baby became my little wingman. We did everything together. He no longer qualified for early intervention since he talked nonstop Things were wonderful. He seemed "normal". If he was naughty, he got a time out, and that was it. No big deal. When he turned 3 things started to go downhill again. I was hoping it was a phase but it's just getting worse and worse. He'll be four in October. We see a child psychologist, will see a neurologist in a couple weeks, and we are waiting for a neuropsychologist evaluation. He's angry and miserable all the time. He's the poster child for The Explosive Child. When I read that book the other night I was shocked to finally read something that described him. Nothing works for him. He lives in the moment so reward charts and stickers cause more explosions. His rages can last two whole hours without a break. He often passes out from exhaustion. I've never heard of a tantrum lasting that long. Is he the only one? I'm a very strict parent to begin with and I've finally come to realize that my firmness only makes things worse. The problem is, the book assumes that all explosions are due to a parent making a request or demand. He explodes for no apparent reason. He will go into a rage while playing with his toys. He will rage even while playing with us. One minute he's laughing hysterically, the next minute he's going nuts. He yells at me in what I call the "redrum" voice. Remember Stephen King's The Shining? It's scary. He is so volatile he scares his friends and other children when he rages. He's in preschool for a few mornings a week and has never had a rage incident, although he has them in every other setting. It used to be once or twice a week, now it's a couple times a day. I could go on forever so I'll just stop now. How do you endure? How do you keep your head up when your child in always miserable for no apparent reason? How can I fix the problem if I can't figure out what the problem is?