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Please Help, So very lost
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 686688" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I believe everybody benefits from thinking things through. Of course, in a dangerous situation and this is one, safety first. </p><p></p><p>If the mother assesses danger, the source of the danger, son must leave the home immediately to an emergency placement. This mother is questioning whether to relinquish parental rights permanently, in order to protect her children. If this is her decision, so be it. If it is a means to get out of a problem now, and it may cause her or her children unnecessary anguish later, I am only saying to think it through first. While the child is in a foster or other emergency placement. </p><p></p><p>If you have decided to relinquish parental rights now, nobody can judge you. SWOT is right. Your obligation is to all of your children. If your son becomes part of the system he will still have people looking out for his welfare. SWOT believes you can make it right with your other children, because you are protecting them. </p><p></p><p>I do not think it is necessarily so simple. SWOT successfully dealt with this situation. I am not so sure that it is cut and dried. I hope so. </p><p></p><p>Everybody is urging this mother to act to make her younger kids safe. To urge a course of action on somebody who you do not know, whose situation you do not know through more than an interact post, just because it worked for me, is not in my mind the best course. </p><p></p><p>Yes. Make your younger kids safe. That we are all saying. But once that action is taken, when you have the possibility of reflection, think through all possible courses of action, your stamina and potential sources of support (or not), and take action that you can live with now and later.</p><p></p><p>I do not know what that would be because I do not know you. The right course of action is that which is right for you and for your family. Not necessarily what I did or did not do.</p><p>Of course this is so. If older son is in a temporary setting there will be time to reflect. If this mother has already decided to relinquish custody or parental rights, and she seeks here a sort of permission to do so, which is to say, validation, nobody here will be living the consequences with her. Nobody responsibly can say do it; by that I mean, let your child go forever. Absolutely I endorse safety for you and all of your kids.</p><p></p><p>The only right decision is that which this mother decides.</p><p>No. Probably not. But I can envision a situation where a social worker is told that the 2 youngest are in danger. That social worker has the right to handle that in a variety of ways. If there is imminent danger there is no leeway. </p><p>A call to a legal aid service while the older son is in respite care is free.</p><p>No. I have not gone through it. It does not mean I want two babies to be hurt. I am coming from the position of minimizing hurt now and later. But most of all I believe this mother has a right and responsibility to decide for herself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 686688, member: 18958"] I believe everybody benefits from thinking things through. Of course, in a dangerous situation and this is one, safety first. If the mother assesses danger, the source of the danger, son must leave the home immediately to an emergency placement. This mother is questioning whether to relinquish parental rights permanently, in order to protect her children. If this is her decision, so be it. If it is a means to get out of a problem now, and it may cause her or her children unnecessary anguish later, I am only saying to think it through first. While the child is in a foster or other emergency placement. If you have decided to relinquish parental rights now, nobody can judge you. SWOT is right. Your obligation is to all of your children. If your son becomes part of the system he will still have people looking out for his welfare. SWOT believes you can make it right with your other children, because you are protecting them. I do not think it is necessarily so simple. SWOT successfully dealt with this situation. I am not so sure that it is cut and dried. I hope so. Everybody is urging this mother to act to make her younger kids safe. To urge a course of action on somebody who you do not know, whose situation you do not know through more than an interact post, just because it worked for me, is not in my mind the best course. Yes. Make your younger kids safe. That we are all saying. But once that action is taken, when you have the possibility of reflection, think through all possible courses of action, your stamina and potential sources of support (or not), and take action that you can live with now and later. I do not know what that would be because I do not know you. The right course of action is that which is right for you and for your family. Not necessarily what I did or did not do. Of course this is so. If older son is in a temporary setting there will be time to reflect. If this mother has already decided to relinquish custody or parental rights, and she seeks here a sort of permission to do so, which is to say, validation, nobody here will be living the consequences with her. Nobody responsibly can say do it; by that I mean, let your child go forever. Absolutely I endorse safety for you and all of your kids. The only right decision is that which this mother decides. No. Probably not. But I can envision a situation where a social worker is told that the 2 youngest are in danger. That social worker has the right to handle that in a variety of ways. If there is imminent danger there is no leeway. A call to a legal aid service while the older son is in respite care is free. No. I have not gone through it. It does not mean I want two babies to be hurt. I am coming from the position of minimizing hurt now and later. But most of all I believe this mother has a right and responsibility to decide for herself. [/QUOTE]
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