Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Please help with our decision to bail 35 yr old son out of jail..
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 636788" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Shiela, I know how hard this is. My son has been in jail 8 or 9 times---I truly lost count so not sure which is the right number. He has begged and cried to us as well.</p><p></p><p>About six weeks ago, he was stabbed/stabbed himself (not sure), required surgery and left the hospital AMA to pound on my front door that night, crying and begging through the side window for me to let him into the house. I did not, and I told him I would call the police if he didn't leave.</p><p></p><p>Shiela, it's too much. It is just too much. Step away from your son. I don't mean cut off all contact. I mean step way back. Limit your contact with him for a while, and during that time, work hard to gain peace and serenity in your own life.</p><p></p><p>As you become stronger, you can decide how much contact to have with him.</p><p></p><p>My son right now has a job and is still homeless. It makes no sense to me at all. He has a very troubled girlfriend and that is a complete mess (in my humble opinion) but Shiela, the only choice I have about his life is how involved I am going to be with him.</p><p></p><p>That is truly my only choice. </p><p></p><p>So right now, I try to make contact/receive contact with him once a week or so. He has no phone but I can FB message him.</p><p></p><p>I also know where he works. </p><p></p><p>Our time together and in conversation is very limited. That is for me. I don't want to hear a bunch of details about his life, because all that happens is I get crazy and upset about it all. It's hard for me to focus on the good things---the fact that he isn't in jail, he does have a job, and he is sweet and kind. </p><p></p><p>I tend to overobsess on the "bad" things---why hasn't he gotten a place to live? Why does he stay with this girlfriend? On and on.</p><p></p><p>Limit your contact as a first step, Shiela. Then, start going to Al-Anon as often as their doors are open. Read CoDependent No More. Underline it. Pray/meditate. Have silence and quiet time. Cry if you need to cry. Take naps. </p><p></p><p>Start taking care of YOU. </p><p></p><p>Your son, I promise you this, is going to do whatever he is going to do. He has put himself where he is today, and that is the next part of his journey. We don't have to like it or understand it or agree with it. It just is.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs. Please keep sharing. We are here for you. Get off the merry-go-round. Today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 636788, member: 17542"] Shiela, I know how hard this is. My son has been in jail 8 or 9 times---I truly lost count so not sure which is the right number. He has begged and cried to us as well. About six weeks ago, he was stabbed/stabbed himself (not sure), required surgery and left the hospital AMA to pound on my front door that night, crying and begging through the side window for me to let him into the house. I did not, and I told him I would call the police if he didn't leave. Shiela, it's too much. It is just too much. Step away from your son. I don't mean cut off all contact. I mean step way back. Limit your contact with him for a while, and during that time, work hard to gain peace and serenity in your own life. As you become stronger, you can decide how much contact to have with him. My son right now has a job and is still homeless. It makes no sense to me at all. He has a very troubled girlfriend and that is a complete mess (in my humble opinion) but Shiela, the only choice I have about his life is how involved I am going to be with him. That is truly my only choice. So right now, I try to make contact/receive contact with him once a week or so. He has no phone but I can FB message him. I also know where he works. Our time together and in conversation is very limited. That is for me. I don't want to hear a bunch of details about his life, because all that happens is I get crazy and upset about it all. It's hard for me to focus on the good things---the fact that he isn't in jail, he does have a job, and he is sweet and kind. I tend to overobsess on the "bad" things---why hasn't he gotten a place to live? Why does he stay with this girlfriend? On and on. Limit your contact as a first step, Shiela. Then, start going to Al-Anon as often as their doors are open. Read CoDependent No More. Underline it. Pray/meditate. Have silence and quiet time. Cry if you need to cry. Take naps. Start taking care of YOU. Your son, I promise you this, is going to do whatever he is going to do. He has put himself where he is today, and that is the next part of his journey. We don't have to like it or understand it or agree with it. It just is. Warm hugs. Please keep sharing. We are here for you. Get off the merry-go-round. Today. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
Please help with our decision to bail 35 yr old son out of jail..
Top